The little pictures we carry around in our heads

2007-04-08T22:01:00.001+08:00

This blog is now DEFUNCT.

Thank you, don't come again. :)

Does true altruism actually exist?

2006-12-03T15:09:00.000+08:00

" It is one of the beautiful compensations of this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

- Charles Dudley Warner, 1873

(@ Prosocial Behaviour, Chp 11)

Guess what's this.

2006-11-30T20:26:00.000+08:00

"You know... The little piece of cloth that they sew at the back.. tells the size.."

First person with the right answer gets a prize!*

*Terms and conditions apply.

Charmed II

2006-11-22T13:58:00.000+08:00

Yea.. I'd be broken.

Tell me, did Venus blow your mind?

2006-11-20T23:35:00.000+08:00

The guy on my left in the train just now farted. I knew it was him because just moments before the smell came, he fidgetted. Like a stinkbomb sia.. But that's not all, apparently, 1 minute later, he let off another.

It must be Fart Day today.

Nonetheless, today, I was charmed. *blush*

The cost of vanity.

2006-11-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

I could hardly walk any longer in my heels last night after melayu.com.sg, so Shahirah suggested we walk barefooted.

And we did! All through Citylink. Liberation. :D

Thanks Shahirah for being sucha sport. (Now I know your fav position. *winks*)

camwhoring = love!

2006-11-12T16:11:00.000+08:00

Just as some joys are better left unspoken,
some things are better left unsaid.

Greatest Story Ever Told

2006-10-31T16:30:00.000+08:00

I went to North Point to top up on body lotion and lip balm. Then I decided, forget the lip balm, I accidentally left it with my sis anw, I can get it from her some other day. For now, SAVE $$$. But guess what, at The Body Shop when getting the body lotion, the girl convinced me to sign up for the Love Your Body card! It was going for $10, and I do go to Body Shop alot for stuff, so I could probably use the 10% disc.. But still??!! (Recall earlier conviction to "SAVE $$$".)

The funny thing is, while I was standing there paying, in my head I was going through the Attitudes chp on styles of persuasion and decided this is the 'Foot-in-the-door' technique. Hahaa.. Hais.....

Just as I was kicking myself in the butt in my head (figure it out yourself) however, the girl reveals a 'welcome to the club' sorta gift. Well, what do you know.. It's a lip balm.

Who still doubts the power of retail therapy? :)

If only life is really that simple.

---------------------------

(James Oliver)

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could've prayed for
There you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad, I'm your man

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight?

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine.
It's the way we touch that sends me
It's a way we'll always be
Your kiss, your pretty smile you know I'd die for
Oh baby, you're all I need.

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you,
Just how much I really need you

Did I tell you that I love you, tonight?

Raya photos!

2006-10-29T17:15:00.001+08:00

(Family minus eldest sis & co.)

(The young and the young-at-hearts: my sibs, cousins and anak buahs)

(Abg Helmi, Abg Hafiz and Queen Moi.)

(Shaja'ah a.k.a. Dream Husband)

(My nephew Mu'az with my cousins Ilyas and Iman.)

(Nephew Thalhah, pronounced as Tholhah.)

(Niece Fasihah.. Probably the cutest toddler in the whole wide world, universe, milky way.)

Can't wait for Library gang, Pbm and Madrasah jalan raya, in that order. Coming soon!

For now, it's back to the books (coursepack, PS, eurgh).

My sister pretty, so pretty pretty...

2006-10-25T00:30:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!! :D

I had a good raya day today. I think it boils down to not leaving chores til last min, packing and sending food to pple the night before, and having a hot bf.

Ok. Minus that last part there. Hahaa...

Hmm raya shows this year abit mendak dun you think... I miss the shows when we were kids, they seem so much more kelakar and entertaining! oh oh.. buden I was so looking forward to Singapura Live today.. For who else.. Taufik Batisah.. Hahhahaa.. Oh man.. Is he hawt or what... And I love his voice lar... I was at my uncle's house when I caught him singing on tv and I was just transfixed, I tell you. My bro and and my cousin were trying to distract me in the bg by telling me he's not gonna marry me but all I did was shush them. They were so disgusted they were looking around for things to throw at me, but fortunately, the potted plant near them was too heavy. So in conclusion, raya shows should invite taufik to perform for them not to be mendak.

Oh I was telling katak that there must be sthg abt pple his age that I like.. The cousin I mentioned above, Abang Helmi, is 23 too and I love love LOVE joking around with him (and my bro). He's so funny! And cool! And we'd always like kutuk each other.. Hahaa.. (Wait.. the thought of calling Katak Abang Kamal, and others.. Abang Idil, Abang Faizal, Abang Md Noor... is REVOLTING!!!!!!!!! YUCKSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! Thank GOD for University!)

Actually right, that family, my mum's eldest bro, wanted to adopt me when I was a baby.. Cos I was too cute, my aunt and uncle couldn't take it, they wanted me for themselves. But alas, my parents decided THEY wanted me for THEMselves (BECAUSE I was too cute) that the adoption never followed through.. Ok ok.. They wanted to adopt me cos that family only got 2 boys and my aunt wanted a girl, kebetulan, at the time of my birth, my mum alr had 2 girls and 2 boys, so I was the 'extra', or in other words, the 'special' one.. Until this day though, my relatives always teased me abt how I almost became 'Anak Wak Ta' (my aunt)..

Maybe.. because of that, somehow that family became very attached to me (no kidding, my aunt influenced her elder son to name his daughter "NURIN Huda", after yours truly, of course).. And I got quite attached to Abang Helmi.. It helps that he and my bro are like buddies too.. Haha.. Long story short, his house is always the last house we go to on 1st day of raya, and it's the best possible way to end of the day. Always a blast.

Oh remember dream husband? The cute 4 year old kiddo? Oh my, he's cuter than ever! I'll post photos once my bro has uploaded!

And I lurrrrrrve being the youngest in the family because we get alot of mullah $$$$.... Hahahhahaha..... Older siblings = $$$. Yea.........

And it's really hard to have a PERASAN-Turkish/Arab/Italian bf.. I think I get so many dosa alr from just agreeing with him. ;D

Have a good week ahead, yall!

Every Little Thing

2006-10-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

Anw.. I just wanna make a shout-out to my Gdfrens, who helped me with the brownies carrying on Wed.. Haa.. Even though I'm now $17 (!!!) poorer.. I redha.. Hahaa... Kidding.. It was fun talking like old times. :)

---------------

(Dishwalla)

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are

too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted

Winter wonderland, or smoker's trachea?

2006-10-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

It's like the haze just refuses to go away. More rain please!

I'm just on to my 3rd brownie!

Hais.. How slow is that.... I want a bigger oven. It might make me more domestic.

And double hais, I just had my social psych presentation just now... There I was telling my distressed group mates after the presentation, "It's ok, it's ok," but actually, I also feel anxious abt it; it dint really go too well. Thanks to Vicky Tan who SLEPT halfway thru our presentation lar!!! THANKS EH.. THAT, coming from a SOCIAL PSYCH PROF lar.. Shouldn't SHE, of all people, know, that whatever she does may influence the performance of her students?? Haha.. oh well. It's over! No more projects! No essays! Only 1 test left and that's in Nov! (ok.. it's PS, the YUCKS mod.)

How has your Ramadhan been? I think mine was worse than last year's, which is bad isn't it.. Isn't the aim to always better urself, not to mundur balik ke belakang.. Oh well, it aint over yet, so pple like me (us, haha..) don't give up hope! 4 days to redeem ourselves. Insya Allah..

Anw, ha.. recently I was having a conversation with the Katak, and we were joking and laughing and suddenly I thought, hey, we're like, what, 7 mths alr, and we're still joking! Can you see how jaded I was.. I've always been wary abt long term relationships, or fearful, maybe.. Yea.. I've always assumed that after 3-4 mths, you get bored.. the feelings die.. you run outta topics. etc. That I was actually impressed and pleasantly surprised..

Lucky me.

Alhamdulillah.. :)

Team who?

2006-10-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Last night despite my initial reluctance and lazyness, I joined some pri sch friends over at J8 coffeebean. There was Rushdy, Yusri, Azhari and Shahidah, who actually left after pri 4 when her family moved to Tampines and I dint meet except for 1 time at Tp's Manifestasi 2003. Ha.. It was funny how Yusri found her. Or rather, how she found Yusri. But nonetheless, it's all good!

I was pleasantly surprised at how easy the conversation went, we were laughing a lot.. Reminiscing... Especially abt Malay class (and Cikgu Samnah, hehe). We were all amazed at Azhari's photographic memory. He remembers EVERYTHING, even the exact words Cikgu Lorena used in demonstrating imbuhan beR- in pri 3! He's scary! Oh, and he remembers alot abt pple's skirts apparently hmmmmmm...... Haha..

It's also quite funny how we always have to associate pple with their classes before we can remember them. Like in describing Amelina, we'll be like, "you know, from 1C, den 6C". Yep. Pri 6 and/or pri 1 class. So there was Husaini 1C and 6F. Farhana 6G. Izdawaty 1B, 6G. That kinda thing. But sometimes, no amount of description can help. We just can't remember..

Anw, Shahidah told me yesterday that she's actually Gamar's cousin lar!! What a small world!!! She was from tkg too so she must know like the millions of other tk pple we know.. So interesting! Oh now she's in NTU. Lucky NTU guys man she's HAWT!!!!! Ok. Sweet. No. Hot. Aww, can somebody be BOTH? Cos she is. Oh, love her face!

Ok I've been wanting to comment abt Nick Lachey's and Jessica Simpson's new singles after they become, well, single. Notice the difference in their song lyrics!

Nick says: But how could we quit something we never even tried? Well, you still can't tell me why.

Jess says: It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby, Before
I open up my heart to you

Nick says: You're not the person that you used to be, The one i want who
wanted me. And that's a shame.

Jess says: Love don't mean changing who you are to be, Who somebody wants you to be, Nobody's got to belong to nobody

Nick says: Take what's left of this man, Make me whole once again

Jess says: I don't need somebody to complete me, I complete myself.

Ouch. Nick. Get a life. I love your songs and all, I love your voice, but it really pains me to see u all crumpled up like this. Jess, I'm not a fan of your acting- although your latest vid was awesome, pple tell you that? - but I think you're hot and that's enough to make me root for you.

So Team Jess I am. You team who?

Hehee..

(songs are from Nick Lachey's "I Can't Hate You Anymore" and "What's Left of Me" [What kinda loser titles are those?? Aiyorrrr...] and Jessica Simpson's "I Belong to Me" [Woohoo! Go Jess! Watch the vid! It's really nice!] )

The Way You Look at Me

2006-10-08T01:51:00.000+08:00

this is for maly.. the very very sappy song I know you'll love.

Christian Bautista..

Move over, Polar Cakes, Royal Cakes' the way to go!

2006-10-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

SO remember that, ladies and gentlemen, for my upcoming 21st birthday.

We celebrated my parents' 1st cucu's 10th birthday! hahaa... So old ah, my parents.. But it was quite nice. My bro in law got this closest-to-Sin you'll find in Ramadhan in the form of a Strawberry cake. Woho.. That's the way to make cakes man.. Creamy and soft but not too sweet.

And I cooked too! Haha.. Ok.. More like help out.. But I did quite alot.. Even siang the ikan! Haa.. I'm ready man. KIDDING! Kidding... Hehee..

So anw I was (attempting to) study for my soc psy test this monday and my text is saying sthg abt how similarity between partners has an overriding importance in determining the success of a rs as compared to complementarity.. It just so happens that my sis was in my room then, so I asked her whether she feels she is more similar or complementary to her husband. Then she said complementary! And I nearly gasped out loud in horror la hahaa..

Then I realised that certain characteristics are different but similar, not necessarily opposites. Furthermore, she elaborated that they do share the same principles, values, ways of doing things etc.. Phew......... Hahaa.. Oh she also said that they are certain things that you just gotta adapt, if you cannot, then it's just gonna be really hard for the both of you to live together.. I guess so.. Haa.. I always like to see my sis and her husband. I think they are very the lomantic...

Ok ok.. No more of such talk!

Hmm... I reaaaaally wanna eat otak-otak now.. Otak-otak.. otak-otak..........

Oh btw, I'm really quite disgusted with myself but I like the combination of pink and blue and purple lar.. haha.. how pri school right... But don't ostracise me ok, esp YOU hafie.. Not my fault I dun like green and yellow and orange highlighters right.. I tried ok, I really did.. It was just too clashing with my tastes. 2 days without my usual set of highlighters and I was having serious withdrawal syndroms. Now I have my colours with me, life's good again!

And one more thing, I really love talking to Maly. :)

Ok! I'm done here.

Adios Salamos.

Get well soon!

dengdeng + otak-otak = love.

2006-10-06T01:58:00.001+08:00

But despite the good food, I'm in a lousy mood now.. One of the few nights that I'm free (no datelines tmr, no tests, no presentations) and what am I doing? Staying up.

I have lots of things to say, and I keep telling myself to blog it down every chance I get, but I'm feeling lazy.

But not lazy enough to say I HATE to see designs that I'm NOT proud of. It makes me wanna puke. I hate it you know, my friends.. I appreciate some of you telling me it's nice and the colours are nice, but I hate it... I don't wish to see it anymore, I hope the term ends soon so I can stash all away. Please PLEASE keep it (them) away from me. But I love yall for being so nice.. :(

Ah. Gem, you.

*hides and cries*

2006-10-02T04:11:00.000+08:00

*dance dance*

;)

See those CHEEKS?

2006-09-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

Look familiar?

Would. kill. for. cheeks.

But they look better on the other person.

Love.

Private Emotion

2006-09-29T00:30:00.001+08:00

Another day wasted away...

Partly because I wasn't in the mood and partly, the mils of calls I had to make today regarding treasury. It feels like cerpen or pb all over again.. I've never liked calling. Yet at the same time, I feel like I'm getting used to it.. Is tt good or bad, getting used to doing things you don't like to do...?

There is, however, one call I'd love to make.........

Yesterday we had dinner with Shafa, prob the last one before she flies away again.. Ahh, so fast.. I want her around still. I kinda got used to her calling requesting to keep her company as she walks home again, just like old times.

Anw, how stupid were we yesterday, WE TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE TREATED HER DINNER LAR... Hahahaa.. Man, I really dint think of it til just now.. Oh but I love the Mochi ice cream and the funny funny photos.. We should have taken MORE. And videos too.. WE DINT TAKE ANY VIDEO. It's ok.. Hafie, send us photos, QUICK...

Shaf was being so funny as usual, looking out for hot guys (think: boyfriend...) and matchmaking Hafie. It was SOOO FUNNY.. Shaf, you're the funniest person on earth... NOT HAFIE.. (Hafie perasan she's "kelakar GILER") Cmon hafie... Let us matchmake you with the starbucks GREEN and black guy.. He's really not bad... I know u'll like him, I know you will.. Haa... Oh, there was this brief tear-jerking moment when Shaf realised she wouldnt get to see the hot nana thai guy til another 9 months, IF, he's still gonna be there in 9 months. Hafie asked if she wanna take a pic with him, like the one with Jason. But alas, we lost him through the crowds at the nana thai counter. Shaf had to abandon all hopes... *sniff*

Oh, Nana Thai at Far East gives 20% disc for students... Good good...

Aah.. I hope you have a good time back at London.. Hope you have a nice Ramadhan.. and raya.. I really wish I could send you to the airport... Bring back more chocs next time yea.. (ha)..

I want to be nicer to my parents this Ramadhan. I want to be punctual for all my prayers. I want to be, nice.

What's your Ramadhan resolution?

Anw, just like how everybody has their favourite Backstreet Boys song, and Britney Spears song, and Boyzone and Spice Girls, I have a Ricky Martin favourite.

Haven't heard it in a million years, suddenly thought of it when I was bathing this morning so I HAD to search for it... Please click.

Hais....... Love.

------------------------

(Ricky Martin & Meja)

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can’t you see
You’re the only one who can shine for me

It’s a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as a one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Can’t you see me here, how can you deny

It’s a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here till your tears run dry

It’s a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me

Breath me

2006-09-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

(Sia)

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is
there's no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

linger..

2006-09-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

Time seems to be passing by too fast. Everytime I'm in some lecture I feel as if I've just been to that mod's lecture 2 days before, not a week. It's scary.

That's not the only scary thg tho. I've 1 stats assignment coming up, 1 research expt, 2 group presentations, and 3 friggin tests! As much as I'm totally loving all the modules I'm taking this sem (save for PS. Bleargh to PS), it's not much easier to catch up on all the readings. Please, my friends, push me to study. I beg you. Hahaa.. Sometimes I wish time could just slooooow downnnnn......

Anw, know what. I was in desp need for a cashcard in the libr last tues to print out my term paper, Katak happened to just lost his (I just lost mine too), Fairoz, his friend has none, and there was no other familiar pple around. Just 8 min to dateline, I decided to go up to this (cpr, try permutations) girl and ask if I could borrow hers. She looked at me like I'm Ashton Kutcher and ask "why do you ask me, why don't you ask your friends?" "Oh, I just happen to like your face, actually."

Ok, I dint say that. I started to explain that my friends there don't have one and I don't know anyone else, but I stopped and said, "You know what, it's ok, thanks" and walked off. Thank God 5 secs later, Fadzli, the gdfren strolled in.. Saviour.

Why, IS IT SOOOO HARD to lend someone ur cashcard?? Ok ok, maybe there's too much value in the card, the borrower might run off, etc.. but MAN, we're UNI STUDENTS! Can't you have a little bit more faith?? Do you have sthg against Singaporeans? Or Malays (for all I know)? Or GRACEFUL pple? Hais.......

Luckily the rest of the day and days went fine. And my love for pple was restored.

On another note. With our clashing timetables and heavy heavy workloads, it's inevitable that we'll have less time to see each other, much less for each other. Now I'm cool with that, but well, I can't deny it's quite a bummer. For me at least. Not that I need to see him, but sometimes at the end of a very loong day, I just want to. And I don't want to get used to it, you know. I've been away from a bf for so long that at times, it's qt easy to forget I actually have one. But ok lar, this one, haa, I don't think he's letting me forget him that easily. Not with those countless 'abuse'. You know what I'm talking abt. ;)

Venezia ice cream at forum = love!

I wish for you...

2006-09-11T00:41:00.000+08:00

Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Gentle hugs when spirits sag,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Faith so that you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,

And love to complete your life.

~ Author Unknown

Looped in the loops of your hair

2006-09-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

Must Love Dogs (2005) is a Must-Watch. John Cusack man, cmon, you dun need any other reason. Anybody watched it? Come talk-talk with me.

Pardon the recent short/non- entries.. No muse. Ahaks..

A poem from the movie..

Brown Penny
William Butler Yeats

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

A thousand years already, don't you think?

Plush

2006-08-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

Inspired to look up this song by Jonathan Leong and Toby from rockstar supernova.

Anw, from during MS1101E lec I crashed last tues....

Tok Din: (on objectification of nature) It's believing that ...... a frog is a frog, and not when kissed becomes a prince.

Me to Fadzli: But sometimes princes are frogs.

;)

------------------------------

(Stone Temple Pilots)

And I feel that times a wasted go
So where ya going to tommorrow?
And I see that these are lies to come
Would you even care?

And I feel it
And I feel it

Where ya going for tommorrow?
Where ya going with that mask I found?
And I feel, and I feel
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?

And I feel, so much depends on the weather
So is it raining in your bedroom?
And I see, that these are the eyes of disarray
Would you even care?

And I feel it
And she feels it

Where ya going to tommorrow?
Where ya going with that mask I found?
And I feel, and I feel
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?

When the dogs do find her
Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow
To find it, to find it, to find it
When the dogs do find her
Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow
To find it, to find it, to find it

Where ya going for tommorrow?
Where ya going with that mask I found?
And I feel, and I feel
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?

When the dogs do find her
Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow
To find it, to find it, to find it
When the dogs do find her
Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow
To find it, to find it, to find it
To find it
To find it
To find it

Dance, this is the way they loved

2006-08-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

" From the other side of the table, as if he had guessed what I was thinking, he raised his glass in a toast. "To love," he said.

I could tell that he, too, was a little drunk. So I decided to take advantage of the opening. "To those wise enough to understand that sometimes love is nothing more than the foolishness of childhood," I said.

"The wise are only because they love. And the foolish are foolish only because they think they can understand love," he answered. "

By The River Piedra I Sat down and Wept
~Paul Coelho

Cute kids shd be banned!

2006-08-11T13:46:00.000+08:00

Guess what lar...

I'm at my eldest sis' hse again helping my parents babysit the kids... Then.. My niece pooped in her pants lar!!! Sheesh.. Orang suruh pakai pampers, tanak.. Abih dia habiskan sey business dia kat seluar tu jugak, orang sikit-sikit ajer ah.. Daaaah hamba ni jadi "bibik" betul (maid) kener berus seluar-seluar dia... Abih senyum-senyum..

Ini dia culprit nyer...

Tengok.. muka tak guilty langsung. Tak guna.. Haha.. This is after I mandikan her again..

And my heartfelt gratitude to my bro in law for giving me the encryption key for his wireless! Woohoo!! I love cool pple!!

Anw, I'm going for the fireworks fest later!! *dances*

bye. :)

About Her

2006-08-11T11:38:00.000+08:00

(Malcolm McLaren)

my babe's got a heart,

like a rock thats in the sea
my babe's got a heart,

like the rock thats in the sea

well no one told me about her,

the way she lied
no one told me about her,

how many people cried

my babe's got a heart,
like a rock thats in the sea
my babe's got a heart,
like the rock thats in the sea

well no one told me about her,
the way she lied
no one told me about her,
how many people cried

but its too late to say you're sorry,
how would i know, why should i care
please dont bother trying to find her,
she's not there

well no one told me about her(x2)
how many people cried,
but its to late to say you're sorry,
how would i know, why should i care,
please dont bother tryin to find her,
she's not there

she's not there

Oh well's

2006-08-10T16:55:00.000+08:00

I've been spending much time with the family these few days, even my sis was surprised at how 'good' I am. Oh well.

Tuesday was my dad's bday and we sorta celebrated it over at my elder sister's hse. 'Sorta' because the actual reason my parents were there in the 1st place was to actually babysit my nephew and nieces, and there was no cake or satay or his fav food (I dunno what, actually). But he got his present, a watch, which he likes. So that's good. Aren't birthdays all about presents?

I dint exactly go up to my dad and say 'happy birthday'.. I hardly do, I don't know why.. I remember in J1, my mum actually called me at school to remind me to wish him that day. In the end I still didn't. I have no qualms abt asking for money from him but when it comes to personal stuff like apologising or saying his cooking was great, it just gets too hard.

As I grow older, I realise I just drift further and further from him.. Like I told some close friends, I think it was really because I see so much of him in me, that it turns me off. I'm stubborn, head-strong, I hate to admit I'm wrong, I am bad at making small conversations, oh my, reeeeally bad at that, and I'm not very good with words. Maybe, I blame him for all these traits, traits I perceived I inherited.

I start blaming him for everything now.

I hope this changes. I know it's up to me to do sthg abt it. I don't feel like doing anythg now, but I just hope when I finally do, it wont be too late. I shall always pray for him. Hey, I wished him "happy birthday" in my heart! Hahaa.. It's something ok.... :D

Anw, I learnt on Tues also that, of all pple to 'talk' to, my aunt's not one. She and my mum are like best friends. I bet they talk abt bra size even at this age. So one day some time ago when I was over at my aunt's hse, I said... my mum cannot say anything already to me to not have a 'kawan' now while I'm studying and giving reasons like oh later I cant cope or concentrate.. because oh well, look at my bro's ahem.

So on Tues over dinner she (my mum) was saying that my aunt asked me "kenaper, Nurul dah ader kawan" lepas tu apparently I "senyum-senyum". THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE!! I OBJECT!! I did NOT "senyum-senyum" ok?!!! So she was teasing me lar abt my "kawan" and how "tak lamer lagi lah nampak-nampaknya" (til I get hitched). Sheesh!!! I said "maner ader" quite convincingly I think, and LUCKILY, earlier on the way to the house, I was just talking to my other sis that yea I'm going for honours etc etc, so she helped me out and said "takder lar, dia lagi nak belajar 3 tahun lagi.." Yay!! Hahaa..

But my other sister, the elder one, was like, tak puas hati and tried to cucuk me some more. She said, "Agaknyer dia yang pakai baju sepasang colour merah tak, orang lain pakai baju biru, gambar atas meja Nurul tu.." She was referring to my FOC Group photo, the frame's on my desk. THANKS eh... Oh well, I think she knows. She, for SOME I DUNNO WHAT REASON, is active on Friendster, and like my Friendster tak obvious gitu kan.. Haha... I just insisted on my innocence, thank god they finally moved on to more comfortable topics.

Ok. I love my anak sedares. And I'm tired now. And hungry. And I hope I can chg my tuition timing to afternoon so I can catch fireworks fest tmr night. And go for reperio bbq on Sat. And I think I got potential to be the next Miss Universe, just ask Katak.

;)

Love!

Iris

2006-08-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

No, I'm not depressed or anything.. It's just the after-effects of the girltalk and jiwang songs in ruzanna's car just now.

Presenting to you the newest member of B2B. (Ehh asal B2b and not B3 ah??) It's for Boring Baking Babes btw. I feel loved again...

I've bold-ed up all the words below cos I like every one bit. Warning: NOT FOR THE EMOTIONAL.

-----------------------

(Goo Goo Dolls)

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Kiss Me

2006-07-26T19:36:00.000+08:00

And to all the people in love out there, including Hafie (I know you're in love with Oasis) and Md Noor (you, you're just in love with yourself, hahaa), and Atikk (if you're even reading this, because I know you love this song), here is a feel good number, one of my FAAAVourite favourite songs in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, how 'dancingfireflies' came about..

Click it. :)

---------

(Sixpence None The Richer)

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

I like men in uniform. Esp hot serani ones...

2006-07-26T18:43:00.000+08:00

Now let's hope there'll be an Encore. That would be nice.. ;)

I'm feeling pretty good the past few days.. Maybe even the past few weeks.. July's been a kind month, much kinder than June. But perhaps, it was the sourness of June that made the sweetness of July all the more sweeter. Hahaa.. I sound like Maly now, don't I, this round-the-bush talk. *shudders*.. But the point is, I like July so far. :)

Anw.. think only md noor got eye teasers ah.. I also got ah.. Look here...

Spot the real Nurul...

Can you do it? hahahahhaaa...

Ok.. One of them is me (yes, this is not a trick qn) and the other is Hafiz Scoprire's cousin whom he claimed looked sebijik like me.. So he sent me that pic of her, and I went scouring for a pic of mine that resembles that the most.... so Hmm.. What yall think? Really ah..? Not same kan.. I think I look a lil more melayu than her.. Kan kan kan?

And btw, do you guys know how a melayu look is like..? Well, according to a certain reliable source.. A melayu look is more "gentle".. Hahaa.. yea.. Sooooo.... if yall happened to agree with me tadi.. That means.. yall agreed I look gentle!!! MUAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA...... (ok, tt was not a gentle laugh.)

Alright, I just wanna share this really nice quote with yall.. Got it from.. if I rmbr correctly, Zikral Rasul... By that nice-looking ustaz whom me and Shad were gushing over afterwards.. hahaa... Ok, he said...

"Live a life that if you're away for a while, people will miss you. And if you're away for good, people will pray to Allah to bless you."

Something to strive for, eh.. :)

Let me sing you a waltz

2006-07-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

I just caught Before Sunset on Monday, the one starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Like I was telling Shad, I can get pretty obsessed with movies I like. And I liked this one. :)

There is 1 part in the movie where both of them were on a boat and Julie Delpy who plays Celine was sharing what break ups are to her..

"I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I'm obsessed with little things.

Maybe I'm crazy, but... When I was a little girl, my mom told me that I was always late to school. One day she followed me to see why... I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk, or... ants, crossing the road... the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk... Little things.

I think it's the same with people. I see in them little details, so specific to each other, that move me, and that I miss, and... will always miss.

You can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details..."

Well it's true isn't it.. There are always somethings abt the person you were with that are just so unique to himself, that made him different, and memorable. And you can't just brush them away even after you had the ugliest breakup.

Another thing I'd like to share..

Hmm.. Just a day after my last break our sch had this workshop on relationships called "Love sthg".. It was a slap on the face, but that's not the point hahaa.. My class had Mr Menon conducting the workshop. He was the HOD of PE, this really tall old skinny man who's super scary when he's angry but lovable all other times, and he said this (or sthg to this effect):

"Relationships are like peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches. You have one slice with peanutbutter spread and the other with the jelly spread and you put
them together. Once you pry the 2 slices off each other, in whatever way,
even most carefully, you'll find.. there are bits of jelly on the peanutbutter side, and bits of peanutbutter on the jelly.

What I'm trying to say is that, at the end of every r/s, there's never a clean break. You'll definitely lose a bit of you to the other person, and you'll have with you bits of the other person."

Yep.. And somehow I feel that it's the little bits of ourselves that we lost to other people that eventually make us more of a person.

I've said this a million times, sorry, but yea.. I believe in cherishing the experience.. The memories.. I mean, of course it always aint that good, and you need to learn from past mistakes etc. What I think, is that we need to acknowledge, ok, the bad things, you know like the things that the person did that wasnt nice, or the way he treated you that you shouldn't tolerate, all these we acknowledge and use them as guides for err, the future.

You know, I feel, we all heal better if we don't feel so bitter.. Bitterness, like picking at his faults, pushing him the blame, all that, helps in getting you over that person, yes, but that isnt really a pleasant way is it.. What abt all those times that he made you feel happy.. What abt all the things that made you fall in love with him in the 1st place..

I don't think we can ever recover 'completely'. In the sense that we completely forget abt someone, or we completely lose all affections for him. I don't think that's the point even.

I think moving on is not abt forgetting. It's abt accepting.

I say we embrace the past. Look at all the special things he was and tell ourselves, 'I had him'. And I dunno... then we'll feel at peace.

(Anw, we do want err.. the pple of our past (haha!) to look back at the times with us and smile too right..? ;) )

But okaay haha that was just my 2 cents worth.. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things.. :) InsyaAllah, if you look to Him for comfort, He will comfort you.

ANWAAAAY, anw, anw......

This is abit of Before Sunset. It's Celine singing "A Waltz for a Night" for Jesse (Ethan Hawke).
If you have 3 min, do watch. :)

(like some vids, I suggest you press play and let the whole thg run and buffer finish 1st, then replay and you can watch uninterruptedly :D )

Let me sing you a waltz
Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts
Let me sing you a waltz
About this one night stand

You were for me that night
Everything I always dreamt of in life
But now you're gone
You are far gone
All the way to your island of rain
It was for you just a one night thing
But you were much more to me
Just so you know

I don't care what they say
I know what you meant for me that day
I just wanted another try
I just wanted another night
Even if it doesn't seem quite right
You meant for me much more
Than anyone I've met before

One single night with you little Jesse
Is worth a thousand with anybody

I have no bitterness, my sweet
I'll never forget this one night thing
Even tomorrow, another arms

My heart will stay yours until I die
Let me sing you a waltz
Out of nowhere, out of my blues
Let me sing you a waltz
About this lovely one night stand

Reperio Photos photos PHOTOS!

2006-07-17T10:52:00.000+08:00

The rawking Scorpion, I mean, Scorpio, I mean, Scop-rayer, ehhh SCOPRIRE. Sheesh. Susah betul. The mat-mat hensem: (From left) Hafiz Jap, Kamal Kental, Ibnur pika-pika. The minah-minah jambu: Nurain, Thaharah (3J), Surya, Lulu, Shamiah, Nurul coool, Adlina

Dk guys and girls! Great show!

Mas, Sharifah, Dayah, Sya, Yanti, Mash, Salmah Download, Fie, Nat * Zahdan, Idil, Hosni, Alfian, Azfarina * Nidzam, Rizal, Fairuz, Kamal, Faizal Rawi, Shan. (absent fr pic): Wan anak rebana.

Totally happening facis! Fairuz, Fadzrun, Faizal Rawi, Shan * Alfian, Kamal, Ana, Aida, Nadiah, Aidil * Nora, Shai and Mua!

O-o-oo-oh! Repe-eh-ri-O! Team Reperio Power!

Portraits~

Asyurah.. She and a grp of pple did a very nice rendition of "Menanti Sebuah Jawaban" at GF.

Lyna in red.

Zahdan sniffing Fairuz's hair..

A very elated Fezhah.

A very sulky Mateen.

And the best, the very best, a very tasty chicken.

Boston

2006-07-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

(Augustana)

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

Essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston... where no one knows my name...

It's about the coffee you know.. not the cup.. :)

2006-07-15T22:04:00.000+08:00

I like this.. A reminder to myself firstly and also the rest of us :)

****

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to
visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into
complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and
returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -
porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some
expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot
coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up,
leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. It is, but normal for you to
want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems
and stress.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you
consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are
the cups. They are just tools to hold Life, but the quality of Life
doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to
enjoy the coffee in it."

So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the
coffee instead.

credits to I dunno who.. but thanks brother Ladak Yaseen Noorahmed who fwded it to the ms yahoogrp..

Kem Reperio, Power!

2006-07-15T13:47:00.000+08:00

Kem Reperio, Gerek!
Ini kem kita, kem Repeee-rio..

Heh.. Yup.. Back from foc.. In one piece, some more.. Who would have thought I'd survived..

Ok, faci-ing wasnt that bad.. My grp rocks to the max, the best.. They are funny, selamber, merapek, spontaneous, sporting.. They aren't hyper-active, which is good, because as you all know, I'm a mellow kinda person.. (haha..) My partner pun, well, gerek kan.. Haha.. It was really interesting to see the way he layans the pple, like so natural.. and entertaining! I'm envious.. Anyhows I had a lot of fun.. Alot ALOT.. One of the best camps I've been to.. With the best company. :)

Once I get pix I'll put them up ok?

Good job Team Reperio! K2P! Advisors! And of course, the all-happening facis.. Hee hee.. we rawk.

Anw, I just did a 3h stint as teaching asst for a k2 class at masjid assyafaah. Hmm.. 30 plus 6-7 year olds running abt vying for attention, well, what can I say man, headache.. But I guess it was nice when the kids like go up to you and compete for your hand. "Teacher I wanna hold your hand!" "No I wanna hold your hand!" "Teacher I wanna hold your hand!!" Hahaa.. Means they like me right? *Phew.* It was good experience. Whether I'll do it again.... Hmm.. That'll depend.. ;)

Actually what I wanted to blog abt was my parents. Abt how they still could find so many excuses to smile at each other even after nearly 40 years of marriage. And they never got tired of looking out for the other. To me, that's amazing. Yes. In BOLD. Haha.. well you know me, ever the unromantic.

There was this one thing I witnessed that was, err.. powerful..
WC season, some 2am match.. My family was lounging together out in the living room- my mum, dad, bro lying on the floor in front of the telly and me, the Queen, on the sofa behind them, supposedly watching the match, but by that time my bro and mum had konked out.

At one point, my mum fidgeted in her sleep, and like a reflex action, my dad reached out for her hand and held it til she was sound asleep again.

Beautiful eh?

Hais..

Don't blame me. It must be the drizzle now. The perfect weather to daydream and think happy thoughts. Haha.. I think I'm happiest when the weather's like this. :)

Anw. Md Hensem's tanding's later! Don't give up, oh md noor dun give uP!! :D

ballack triumphs over c.ronaldo. :)

2006-07-09T22:12:00.001+08:00

Ok ok I admit.. Even though I tried my very best to watch the match, I think I effectively caught only 3 min outta the whole thing, i.e. when I'm awake and conscious. Seems like mr sandman was a lil more enticing than fav gayboy c.ronaldo and fav snag ballack. Sorry. But I'm glad Germany won. They dint disappoint me.

That victory was just desserts man.. Main dish was GOLD medal by fav friend and lendra la for their ganda putera / putera ganda event at Silat IVP yesterday. It was a superb win, one they totally deserved for the efforts that they put in.. And they looked really good doing what they did. Bravos.. BEB! NOTE MY TAG! SWENSENS TREAT ALRIGHT?? *dances* EHHHH... just to make it clear. YOU treat ME. Not the other way eh...

Oh for those pple who weren't there.. you missed out seeing mat hensem lar.. True to his name, he looked damn hem-sem yesterday strutting his stuffs. Haha.. Anw mamat, cheer up ok kiddo.. you all did good for your debutante perf sey.. And katak was saying that you guys really really put in alot of effort in it.. Like going for extra training sessions and all.. Ok ok, chins up! Go all the way for tanding yea, ALL THE WAY!! Gua caya sama lu!!!!! ice cream cone beb ICE CREAM CONE!!!!

Wah I must say that yesterday was fun.. Especially towards the end of the day when everybody was just in such high HIGH spirits, the whole place was just cheering like crazy lar for that last tanding event. It was crazy I tell you CRAZY!!! Esp Ahmad sumantri lar he was like coming up with all these laungans and fitting Hoirul's name inside. Thank God for fadz who kindly explained to me what's going on, man, looking at the referees and their hand actions it's a wonder pple can understand anything! They look like some random funny movements! Hahaa.. (anw, Hoirul got through to the next round. Congrats!)

In the midst of all the excitement zahdan asked me if I feel motivated to join silat already.. Haa.. I think not. It's good and fun and challenging, but I don't want anymore pple to LAUGH AT MY KICKS *GLARES at katak*. Fadz was saying that I should just join, for the exercise. THANKS my friend, I GET THE HINT.

Fadz added that the silat pple are all very nice, and no politics. Haa! Ok I could see that.. At least from my few encounters with them (yest and monday) they were all friendly and.. hahaa welcoming. And semangat giler!!!!! *joins in the giler-ness*

I missed today's matches but I look fwd to the next ones!!!! Hope I can go! Kamie, you with me?

Anw, yesterday alot of pple came up to me and commented that my face like cramp. Hahaa.. It's nothing lar, I'm ok! Ok, maybe alil nervous for beb's event (hahaa padahal not like it's ME who's performing). But my muker memang cam gitu lar, my madrasah frens last time called me 'Muker stress', tanya Muk. "Eh, muker stress, mari sini." "Hello, boleh cakap ngan muker stress?" Hahahaa... Yea.. Ntah eh kenaper..

I think my face only got 2 basic expressions - crazy and sad/stressed, either or. Really!! Hahaa.. Ok you all know my crazy face. Buden apparently everytime I dont smile I look sad/stressed. My sec 4 teacher actually called me for a one-on-one session with her to ask if there's anything bothering cos she hardly see me smile. (Heehee, eventually I took adv of the situation and got away with not taking A maths re-test at the same time as everybody else.. Bet even Maly and Shad dint know that! Whooops..)

Ok as I was saying.... Yea if you see my face abit cramp, don't sweat on it k, I'm most prob ok.. Ye lar.. takkan nak senyum 24-7 kan.. Mesti ada break sikit.. But..... if you're not sure, hahaa.. yea.. go ahead and ask! If I really am not, I guess that lil show of concern would be very much appreciated... :)

I think Fairuz is right, it's prob just cos I've got "sad eyes"... But I'm not sad ok? Hahaa I think I haven't been happier in a long looong time. *grins*

Oh I haven't packed! FOC tmr!!!!! hahahahhahahaa *nervous but excited* 4 days of beb. Shit. I wanna chg partners.

;P Kidding.

It's Pamper- Katak Week this week!

2006-07-04T07:33:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, my fellow compatriots.. Join me as we treat our dear friend with much love, care and sympathy in conjunction with his birthday... After all.. The older one gets, the more TLC one needs. Our time will come too.. Karma, you know.. You give some, you get some..

Yesterday was mighty mighty fun. For me lar.. haha.. Seeing macho man near-to-naked, what more can I ask for.. (sunglasses. heheh..)

I'm kidding, really.. No I DINT get to see much of him, physically, of course. Allah still protects me, Alhamdulillah.. But I did send him to spa! He looked sooooo cute when he learnt they'd be touching his butt during the massage, his face turned all red sak! After we put him into the room, the lady in charge turned to me and laughed "he's so shy!" hahahahahhahahaa.... Sheesh.. Malu konon... But good good. I also duwan them to. (EH. Everybody's gotta be selfish sometimes perrr..)

Hope you enjoyed the experience beb... :)

Anw.. So the last post I said sthg abt practising what I ought to practise for the sake of pple pple right.. Hahaa. yea.. I did lar.. I tried to bake a cake. Hahaa.. 1st time man, tapi ambitious! I was trying to do some mocha mousse sthg sthg. Tak menjadi!!! The cake was fine, tho tak raser the coffee LANGSUNG. The cream was NICE but should have put more, like make 3 layers of cake rather than 2. The mousse turned out SO fluid, we treated it as choc sauce instead.. just poured it over the cake.. Haaa... Creative kan....

Lucky my sis was there to help me.. if not there would be MUCH more bloopers lar.. Anw, it was qt fun baking with her.. we kept laughing and laughing.. sister-bonding man... :D

My dad said it looked nice!!!!!! But well, everybody took a slice and dint take anymore.. Still got berlambak in my fridge. Hehee..

Ok.. So the trial cake dint turn out as well as I hoped.. which forced me to go for the tried-and-tested, BROWNIES!!

Hahaa I think the brownies turned out OK.. I made the chocolate topping myself!! Generous generous slaps of chocolate topping such that when you take a bite, you'll have choc stain on your teeth. A lil sprinkle of cocoa powder on the top and Va-Lah! Although there was abit of an embarrassing moment there when katak couldn't cut the brownies cos it was too hard for the plastic knife. I tried to stand where the silat peeps would be blocked from the view to save my face!

Speaking of which, my thanks to the silat pple for accommodating me that morning..esp MD NOOR and FAIZOLA, aka mat HENSEM and mat HOT, for making it all even possible lar.. Gua caya samer lu, bebs... Gi menang itu gold sana...

On a different note, all these have pretty been a new and exciting experience for me.. There are certainly times when I get lost as to what I'm to do (or NOT, for that matter).. It does bring some low personal moments, I guess.. But.. I do notice a change in myself. No, not getting sicker or hornier eh. I'm more sure of what I want and willing to work for it. Yup..

Ok. Time to mandi and head for mock camp.. I'm faci-ing at foc ler.. Can you imagine that? Good luck to the pax. And me. More luck to me, please.

Savouring the experience, wouldn't give it up for the world.. :)

You're just too good to be true...

2006-07-03T01:37:00.000+08:00

(can't take my eyes off of you)

Happy 23rd Birthday, beb.. :)

Man, you're old.

SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS OF YOUR HEAD

2006-07-02T11:39:00.000+08:00

I read md noor's post and well, he had just put in fine fine words the thoughts I have had in my head for a while now..

Sometimes we might get angry at somebody because of sthg he's done, and get even angrier when he does nothing to er.. for lack of a better word, make up or apologise.. Maybe we just don't realise that that person may not know in the 1st place what he's done or the true situation. Imagine, you don't know anything, suddenly jer you find yourself in some hot soup. Naturally, if someone's suddenly angry or upset with you and you don't know the real reason why, you would get upset too, even irritated.

The best way is to tell them lar, what they did. If you tell them on the spot there might even be enough time for them to salvage the situation. If you're too angry, ok, tell them later.

Ok this is sthg I learnt from social work (my fav module, the one I got a friggin B- for).. Lemme share with yall, insyaAllah, we may all benefit from this..

1. You describe to them what they did (DESCRIBE, not give judgements
ehh...), and when.. Don't say, "you ALWAYS never do this, you ALWAYS like this like this.." How you know "always"? You're God ah? Instead say, "That day, when you bla bla.." It's much clearer.. :)

2. Then you tell them what you felt about it.. "I felt it wasn't nice of you bla bla.."

3. Then pause and prompt/ask them for their side of the story.. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN... Golden rule no. 1, that one.. Yup..

4. Try to work sthg out together.. Negotiate.. InsyaAllah, you'll come to a win-win situation, or at least, one where both parties are no longer fuming... If the thing is of the past, do share what you feel they could do THE NEXT TIME. We all need some guidance once in a while.. :)

5. Forgive.

6. Do all these and if you find you're able to do them kindly despite you
being angry and everything, then my God, you're truly one of the ENLIGHTENED ones.. :D

Ok hahaa.. I am one of those people who sometimes ('sometimes' ajer ehhh... haha..) do things all wrong, yet not realise them. So pray, tell me and not hold it against me k? Speak frankly, of course, and if you're nice while you're at it, it's a bonus. :)

I am, of all things, a willing learner. Strike me and I will strike back. Hold me and I will soften. Teach me and I will learn, insya Allah. Please do forgive me and pray for me too..

Keep in mind please that nobody wants to elicit anger from another person.. (except when he's really up to some mischiefs.. In that case, go ahead, you can lasiiinggg that person..) Nobody intentionally makes mistakes.. So don't treat that person like he's some bugger lar... Have some heart :) :)

(hahaa.. If only my dad reads this.. )

Another thing tt's been constantly in my mind was sthg that Maly pulak wrote awhile ago which echoed the reason tabloids gave to sienna miller's rocky r/s with jude law:

For someone who's so HAWT and HANDSOME, jude law seemed to be getting praises and gushes from women all over, except his gf. She reportedly was always putting him down instead. Hahaa.. IF this report is accurate, my take is that, I'm SURE she KNOWS and FEELS that jude law is ALMOST PERFECT, maybe it's just that HE doesn't know she feels that way... ;)

Don't we just love to hear pple, esp those who mean alot to us, to say nice things to us..?
We love and we LOOK FWD to that.. It makes us feel pleased, appreciated, and I think very much, reassured of our position.

I do think the reason why some r/s turn sour through time is tt pple take their partner, or rather, the r/s itself, for granted. They assume that their partner knows how much he/she means to them, so they don't see the need to explicitly express to them. Well well.. Every1 needs some reassurance once in a while.. You know.. to be told, then reminded, and then reminded again..

I once said to Shad, I think this is the very reason I'm happy now. :)

Really people, some nice words will go a loooong, LOOOOOONGGGGGG way...

Alrighty! Gotta help my dad with the cooking now heheh... After that, I really have to start practising what I ought to be practising for my, and hmm about 30 other pple's, sake. You'll know what I'm talking abt soon enough... *grins*

Adios Salamos! :) :)

MISS ME?

2006-06-29T21:11:00.000+08:00

Ok the 6 suppposed loooooong days dint turn out to be sooooo long...

ITQAN was very enjoyable and I believed I've gained so much from it. I've resolved to put up here some of the stuffs that I've learnt from time to time, insyaAllah.. It's one of those camps that you go away feeling, Ok, I'm gonna make a difference in my life, I'm gonna improve. Yup..

Anw, what I also liked abt ITQAN also was that I got to get to know some pple.. Like Fatma, Liza, Hafizah Rafie, Khairul Nuda.. And get to know the pple I somewhat already know, like Sara, Kak Marjiana, Kak Aisyah, Kak Aishah, Yana, even better.. Oh we kept playing those camp games like "what time issit", "coffee or tea", "bang bang bang who died"... Hahahaa Damn fun lar!!!!! And on the 2nd night we had Girl Talk! muahahaa... "white white"? "muscular"? Yucks... If only they knoww..... hahaha...

KKO was FUN FUN FUN... and slack gilerrrrrrrrrr........ It feels like chalet more than anything else lar... Some photos!

This is like minutes after I arrived.. The girls already made themselves comfortable in our room! We've got our own personal radio some more, aka, Atikk!

Masquerade Night! Hahaa.. Most of the guys dint even bother to dress up!! Oh kudos to diatch for bothering to staple the feathers to the masks!! Beee-U-tifooool... :D

The DK guys bullying Zahdan!!! Sheesh. Tak guna diorang. Don't worry Zahdan, next time, I'll protect you. (hur hur..)

Kelawar totally rocked lar!! we like won the monopoly game by a landslide!!! Hahaa.. thanks to our resident HOT GUY, Faizola! absent from pic: Heru..

I am Minah Sporting! Hahaa.. Well, 1st of all.. I'm not a minah. And 2ndly, hey, I'm REALLY pemalu!!! Why don't anyone believe me??? Hais...

If you all read Md Noor's blog you will know abt the angel and mortal thg.. Haha.. We're meant to be lar md noor.. No doubt abt it.. Up there's the cover of the supposed "nice" card he made me.. hahaa..

This is the inside!! Hahaa.. at least he made the effort to draw those butterflies.. But that thing in red is SUPPOSED TO BE ME????So pretty.. You flatter me sometimes. :D

More pictures where these came from.. insyaAllah I will upload into yahoo photos..

Congrats to kko team!! :)

Atikk I shall be waiting patiently for my "Kiss Me" yea.. hahaa

Oh just now me kamie Faizola and Md Noor went hiking at bukit timah.. Hahaa but that's a story for another day..

Right now, it's make-up-for-lost-sleep time... :)

Hafie!!!! Have fun at melbourne!!!! hais.. gonna miss you la...

Shaf's coming back on fri lar..

2006-06-22T12:46:00.000+08:00

And the girls outing is cancelled too.. I think it was the doing of Maly, who was jealous that she cant join, so she doa and doa that it'll be cancelled so we'll have it on another day and she could join us then! Oh maly, you love us too much, you know...

I don't think I'm over PB yet..

This morning I had a vivid dream in which I was very much trying to get the kids together in my half-past 6 malay.

The other day katak called me at arnd 2am and the 1st things I said to him, with full confidence, was sthg along the lines of "We should put the kids over there.." Of course he was like "Huh?" I said, "Put them over there." And he asked "Why?" and I was like "So that the kids will be safe" and he went "huh?" again and there I was thinking, why is he not understanding?? so I repeated "So that the kids will be safe!" and he went "What kids??" and suddenly, it dawned on me.

"Oh my god.."

I was sleep talking...

HAHHAHAHAHA.. Buruk kan... Sorry beb..

Anw..

Here's my shopping list for this hols. Siaper-siaper yang duit terlebih tu.. pandai-pandai lah eh....

1. bio essence facial cleanser $8
2. body shop strawberry body lotion $15.90
3. earphones $17.90
4. softlens 38 monthly disposable lenses $15
5. epilator $79

There... that's not a lot... Only 5 things.. 5 VERY ESSENTIAL THINGS.

Cmon there's so many of you.. Choose 1 jer each.. or maybe some of you can get together and share... Remember what Maly said in her blog, we cannot be pelokek.. Must be generous... Orang yang pemurah tu akan ditambahkan rezekinya...

:)

Shaf's coming back on thurs!

2006-06-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

Also the day where for GIRLS' Outing!! Hahaa.. Sooooo exciting! I lurveee girl outings...

Anw.. Sat was my bro's tunang.. Alhamdulillah, it went smoothly.. The hantarans which we sent were lovely!! Designed by my sister.. The theme is butterflies.. I loiiike.. :) Some photos!

The duit thingy.. (look at the $$ folded into butterflies)

The tempat cincin

Kek Marble Nutella (See the cling wrap? I did that)

Ok I know I'm telling the whole world abt the engagement here.. Butttt.. if letssay you all see him on the streets, don't ask him "How's your tunang?" ok?? *whispers* You're not supposed to know.... Shush...

(Germany just won 3-0 to Equador! ballack ballack! )

Oh yesterday Shad left for Umrah.. InsyaAllah she goes and comes back safely, and her umrah dimabrurkan.. The bunch of us sent her off, and took the chance to eat at popeye's sekali after that.. My 1st time!! Best.. Haha.. All the weight I lost over PB is now back on man.. sheesh. Oh I forgot to mention sthg very impt... HAFIE TREATED ME LAR for the popeye meal!! Woohoo!!! Love love LOVE HAFIE!!! She's the best.. Ok she treated me pasal she said she treated the rest last friday during the outing and I wasn't there, so that was my share.. SHO SHWEET kan.... Heehee...

This Fri I've got a camp til Sunday.. Then after that on Mon-Wed another camp, KKO.. I was telling my parents den my mum said, Nurul hidup takder lain, camp ajer... Hahaa.. I think last year and this combined I'd gone to 10 camps lar.. Banyak kan.. Hahaa..

Hais but I SOOOOO wanna go to the ODAC ones overseas la.... I WANT.... Can you HEAR the DESPERATION in my voice (words).. I WANTTTTT... Hais.. I need 123 Bucks lerr.... HAISSS...... I want a sugar daddy... Katak is not enough... Hahahaa.. (KIDDING!!!!)

Anw, since I'm gonna be gone for these 6 loooong days.. Please pple, try to contain your rindu twds me eh... Pls.. Control yourself.. Esp Maly.. Pls..

Hahahaa I think I sound drunk. I thk it was the 10km walk (TEN!! I REFUSED to believe it was just 3) around town today from 2-6pm with Fuhan.. It was dead tiring ah..... But nice catching up with her.. Oh saw loadsa good thgs too! But Fh kept telling me those thgs are cheaper in shanghai and Spain that I'm no longer enticed to shop here anymore... Oh Fuhan had an interesting haircut.. Hahaa.. Well, she always got interesting haircuts.. And she wears red for luck. (hahaa.. no link eh..) I am high.

Ok I think it was really because of the bridge to bus to cck trip. :P

Man... 6 looooooong days ler...... Looooooong.......................

Hahhaa...

Ok I shall stop sounding crazy.

Now that I'm in a better state of mind..

2006-06-17T09:18:00.000+08:00

.. after talking to katak and fie, I realised hey PB wasn't that bad after all..

Definitely it has its glitches, but it was an experience worth going through. We were talking abt the kids, abt rusydi (my love), firdaus (mini mat), husaini (beckham), afiq, ghazali, iqmal etc.. and their antics which so menggelikan hati.. And I do see what beb meant abt pb being his most-prided event.

Like what Azmeer said in his mail, pb dint start on Mon. It started months and months ago.. Haha.. I rmbr so many times during the process I got really frustrated and angry and disappointed by various things (or pple). But I also rmbr the times preparing for it that was really nice and memory-worthy.

Like the time when ana fie and I were cutting up the coloured cloths while listening to kelana purba and dentiara.. Man you guys don't know.. Fie is a MASTER-CUTTER. World-CLass, I tell ya, dun pray pray.. So now we know what she does at home BESIDES listening to oasis OR dl-ing OASIS videos OR watching the Oasis videos. Haa..

And that time we tried to come up with some catch phrases for the pb poster at mendaki.. Haha I thk Fazli sampai naik jelak looking at that thing, like how I got jelak of the IAP posters hurhur.. We managed to combine Faz's orig words with the Katak's intro dikir song, and at the end of it, everyone was like cheering and going "yes!" "finally!" it was really funny (the reaction, not the words).. Anw.. the poster's below.. I really like the design, Fazli's brilliant!

"Selamat datang ke kampung bahasa,

Bergabung seni, irama dan budaya,

Bersatu juga suara hati kita,

Cubalah lihat dengar dan rasa.."

And I really like how "Lihat, dengar, rasakan" was placed directly above "Perkampungan Bahasa", so it reads "Lihat, dengar, rasakan Perkampungan Bahasa".. haha.. Brilliant, I tell ya..

Oh I love love love all the dikir songs tooooooO!! They're are soooo nice!! I always look fwd to katak sharing with me the songs once he finished composing.. Haha.. You never knew a katak like that can come up with such good lines. It's really quite amazing actually seeing him come up with the lyrics, it's just so natural, the way he fits words into the melody.. And he'd show me the dikir steps too.. Very nice.....

And I've always wished I could sneak into their practices.. But alas, I dint think I'd feel safe in sucha testosterone-infested envt. I heard much abt them though, abt how zahdan always kena attacked, and lendra and his err, funny, steps. 3-quarter of these guys never did dikir before you know, but look at them on finale night and you'd never even guess that! They really put in a lot of effort and commitment in getting down to sch 3times a week to practise ah.. And I guess it all was made easier when you have sucha wonderful and capable and outstanding instructor like *ehem ehem* macho man lar kan... (*chokes*). Haha kudos to DIKIR GUYS!

Oh yea shan, I dint forget you. Sheesh, tak tau malu.. hahahha.. Thanks for helping us out for bengkel, and the other games, and of course to adzfarina too aka rebana man, the man who's ever-smiling.. He never gets angry, does he? Haha.. What will we do without him?? We'd only be left with hafihz to play anak! Oh no! haha.. (KIDDING!)

The drama was funny too!!! Hahaa the actors memang dasar tak tau malu ah.. I like the part when mateen keluarkan the half-eaten muffins from his mouth to answer the phone call, then afterwards eat them back and still can say "Hmm, sedap!" hahaha.. YUCKS. The actors also spent time to come to sch for rehearsals lar.. so yea.. thanks out to them man..

I liked that time we were doing recording for the csi vid too! Zahdan was really victim of the moment lar he, he just HAPPENED to be there that day, and suddenly he became the star comedian of the vid. Heehee.. For those who havent seen the csi vids, Azmeer played Inspektor Azmeer and Zahdan was his "Sayang". It's hilarious!! Zahdan was so sporting la... Oh Azmeer too "Maaf yer... Sayang saya memang macam gitu." The rest of us behind the scenes i.e. me ana fie and nadiah couldnt help but laugh out loud at some parts and spoil the recording pasal tak boleh tahan!!!!! Mucho Mucho Thanks to Zahdan.

Haha ok I must say that the pb comm members are generally qt efficient.. Filzah really really impressed me with her commitment and efficiency. Haha honestly, for several mornings it was her who wakes me up whenever she called at 9plus or 10 to ask abt some venue matters. She's really good!

I dun wanna mention the others because then I'd feel obliged to mention ALL, which is really not the point here (more credits in my post below). I really really enjoyed working with this bunch of peeps, although, Honest to God, I just wish that they were around more during the CAMP itself. I had a good talk with beb on friday, one which I really needed. We went through the whole camp process and what went wrong, where I went wrong, what could have been improved.. It really helped I guess, when you look at the whole thing when you're all more calm and ready and refreshed. I think I learnt alot.

Again, I'm really sorry for the times when I may seem rude or demanding or unreasonable and I hurt or offended pple, my own friends, in the process. I guess being under stress does not make it ok to be so disagreeable. I agree I shd learn and improve on the way I handle things when times get rough. InsyaAllah.. My friends, I hope you will guide me through this.. :) Truce? Heehee..

This is sthg that I said in my mail to the pb yahoogrp, it's sthg tt would take some getting used to, but I believe once you get it, you'd appreciate each and every single life experience you have even more. We may think that it was us who made the choice to join this organising comm, to be part of this project. But in fact, it was Allah who who moved our hearts to do so. So indeed it was He who chose for us to be part of this. Surely He has His reasons and verily, He knows what's best for us.

Congrats to everyone involved for making PB '06 a success!

Thank you, and Come Again. ;D

Shiver

2006-06-17T01:39:00.000+08:00

(Coldplay)

So I look in your direction
but you pay me no attention do you
I know you don't listen to me
Cause you say you see straight through me don't you

But on and on, from the moment I wake
till the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
just to see if you care

Did you want me to change
Well I changed for good
and I want you to know
that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you
but you never even see me do you
And is this my final chance of getting you

But on and on, from the moment I wake
till the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
just to see if you care

Did you want me to change
well I changed for good
and I want you to know
that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
for you
I will always be waiting

And it's you I see
but you don't see me
And it's you I hear
so loud and clear
I sing it loud and clear
and I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me

it sucks royally

2006-06-15T14:36:00.000+08:00

... when you know that there were some expectations set on you, and you do want to reach those expectations, you do want to go there.. but you dint.

These expectations generally root from perceptions that pple have abt me that isn't really true.. or valid.. Sometimes I feel scared to have these certain perceptions abt me; because it sucks when finally these pple see how I really am, and it doesnt agree with what they have in mind, I feel like they'd get disappointed and blame me like it was my fault. After all, if you place me high up on the altar, it's me who face the risk of falling and it's me who's gonna get hurt.

Only sometimes you do wish their perceptions of you were true.

The positive thing out of this is that while striving to achieve these expectations nonetheless, I learnt more about my true potential, and limit.

I agree with Shad that the execution of the camp sucks. One by one we realised there were so many things not carefully thought of, so many tasks not properly delegated, so many loose ends not tied up. Even so, I'm glad the camp ended really well, at least for the kids.

NURIE ASIE MALY!!! Man your presence meant the WORLD to me.. It was just so nice to spend those minutes being away to take photos with the eminence babes... Shad Fie Maly Nurie Asie.. If only Shaf's here earlier.. :/

Shad Mukmin Md Noor Fadz.. words cannot express how thankful I am to you all.. Really.. I'm so sorry for those moments where everybody just feels like killing everyone else.. But you all held on.. I'm glad to have found you as my friends..

Shad, I know sometimes you got pist, but you still listen to all my whinings and complains, and be my breaks from the insanity of it all.

My babes Kamie Nad and of course my lover Fie, glad I have you all to go thru the shit with me, hur hur.. you guys did a Fantastic job.. The performance was a blast! Fie, what will I do without you..

I dun thk the rest read my blog, I hope they dun too, but I'm thankful for the seniors like Ana Fez Era Zuhailah Izzati whose help we cannot do without and I must say working with Ana was sucha blast, she's really sucha great person. You know someone is great when they can still keep their humour and good spirits even though they are this close to their tolerance threshold. Lyna was a good break too with all her funny antics.

The dikir pple were great! and downstage left too- Fez mateen nadiah with the help of Ana and Kak Hajar... The dikir coordinators were the best of the best. I couldn't imagine anyone more capable than faizal rawi, nidzam, hosni, sya, dayah, norli and of course, fie and kamal.. I thk the kids had a lot of fun at bengkel dikir AND the actual perf night..

Azmeer is admirable in the way he always remained so calm and collected and even funny even though sometimes I feel like I could strangle him to death when he asked me abt things that I have no idea shit abt or ask me to call for decisions that were really not mine to make. But it's really not his fault, he's got SO MUCH stfs to handle.

Which, in other words, is saying sthg abt the some other pple.

What was onstage last night nonetheless was a blast, Alhamdulillah, though I regret that I missed half of it. And YES, I FEEL DAMN SHIT THAT NO ONE TOOK A VIDEO. It would mean damn alot.

I'm sorry..

Beb, I'm just glad you were there..

----

Btw.....

Guess what. Over the past few days, I've lost abt 5 friggin kg. Hahaa.. Can you beat that? ;)

It's PAMPER NURUL week this week!

2006-06-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

Do you know?

If you hadn't well, now you do..

Hahaa.. I could get used to this... *smile smile*

Extend, please?

Here's to more peace on earth!

2006-06-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

Once Hatta is gone TOMORROW to his rural shangri-la..

Hahaa.. Kidding.

Anw, had a good meeting up with him last Thurs and he introduced me to Borat who is really Ali G playing some Khazastan- citizen.. I promised to look for the videos on youtube and Gosh! You must watch too!! Video below!!

OOOh but please practise self censorship eh.. rated NC16. hahahaa...

"If you cheat on me, I'll CRUSH you."

"how do i know if she want me to take her to...SEXY TIME! "

Hhahaahahaha So funny!!!!!

Borat at Dating Service
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d-qsnMPC0g

Oh but I must say, Hatta's impersonation of him is MUCH MUCH funnier lar.. Gosh, Hat, u're gifted!!!!!! "I'll CRUSH you.." Hahaa.

Man, cant believe u're on your way to becoming a man now.. Although.. it's abt time. Don't get bullied. ;D

CALL ME SOMETIME!!!!

And you still owe me 2 seasons of Arrested Development and The OC and the Foo Fighters CD.

Bye.

Everlong

2006-06-02T14:41:00.000+08:00

Shafa introduced me to this song prob 2 years ago and I confess it was only after several hearings that I truly appreciate the beauty and pain in this song. I was reading some comments abt it and I was attracted to what this guy said.

It reminded him of his 1st girlfriend and he never realised that he loved her that much til they broke up. Sounds typical, you say. But he added that he has never loved in the same way again. Yea he was naive then but that was what made the love perfect; it's loving someone with that careless abandon that you now don't have as you get older and more cautious and realistic.

It's true isn't it.. Not saying that this is bad and we shd just abandon all reasons now.. But think about it, when was the last time you just let yourself go?

My interpretation to this song is alil different. I hear it as a sort of a plead.. done with the realisation and expectation that the good stuff will end, one day, but also with the hope that it wouldn't.

Well who cares. Just enjoy the song, will you.

I love Foo Fighters.

I'm still waiting for a kind someone, anyone, to get me the cd.

-------------

(Foo Fighters)

Hello, I've waited here for you... Everlong.
Tonight, I throw myself into,
And out of the red, out of her head she sang.

Come down and waste away with me, down with me...
Slow how, you wanted it to be,
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang.

And I wonder when I sing along with you,
If everything could ever feel this real forever.
If anything could ever be this good again,
The only thing I'll ever ask of you.
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.
She sang:

Breathe out, so I can breathe you in,
Hold you in, and now, I know you've always been
Out of your head, out of my head I sang.

And I wonder when I sing along with you,
If everything could ever feel this real forever,
If anything could ever be this good again.
The only thing I'll ever ask of you,
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.
She sang:

And I wonder,
If everything could ever feel this real forever,
If anything could ever be this good again.
The only thing I'll ever ask of you,
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

Brighter than Sunshine

2006-05-31T13:32:00.000+08:00

(Aqualung)

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
and it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

Then I see you standing there

2006-05-31T13:00:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been to a wake?

I vaguely recall going to my grandparents'. I remember refusing when my mum told me to kiss my grandmother's forehead. And for my grandfather, I went into the room and wondered why I wasn't crying, did I not love him enough.

But I guess those wouldn't count.

So I went to my first on Friday. I expected the mood to be sombre, serious, heavy. Like if it rained, despite the many storeys of flats above us we'd be drenched. But I guess that what you see in the movies is quite true. There was a certain delicateness in the air, sorta like fragile cheerfulness. It wasnt like the cheerfulness was forced, nor was it exactly pretentious. Rather, it was like everybody refused to be sad or at least, show sadness.

My good friend Puay Hoon went around shoving oranges into the guests' faces and demanding them to have some just because she cut them. Others were fawning over the guest book whose cover was beautifully designed by PQ. Puay Hoon nudged me towards her mother and as soon as I hugged her I felt it was as though she was comforting me instead.

She said "Haven't seen you for so long.." and even though she was smiling, I couldn't help but feel tremendously guilty. I told her she still looked good and she continued smiling and said, "Today I off the tap. I never on."

I dint understand so I asked, "Why you never on?"

She explained, "If I on the tap then cannot stop," as her hand gestured near her eyes as if wiping away tears. Then I got it. Inside I marvelled at how strong she was.

She then took me to see her in a white sun dress with pink flowers.

It was surreal. I only remembered thinking she looked no different from being asleep. That I could just poke her in the ribs and she'd wake up. With that blur "Huh?" look she always have. Had.

After that, us pri sch classmates found each other, sat around and ate while taking turns to tell jokes and play tricks such as "How many meh mehs jump over the wall" and "Coffee Tea" and Black Magic. Fun..

It was really nice to see all the ex-Peiying and Rg pple. I have yet to understand completely what happens to our roh, or spirit immediately after we cease breathing. IF somehow her spirit was floating arnd that day, I think she'd be pleased. There was so much laughter, there was so much love. :)

Somehow being there that day made me feel better. I think that's the thing about wakes, or funerals. It gives a sense of closure. Satisfaction, in the most non-sadistic sense. I like closures.

Whatever it is pple say, that she had so much potential.. I'd say, I think she had done her part here.

Allah knows best. :)

Run

2006-05-24T13:38:00.000+08:00

(Snow Patrol)

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

As promised..

2006-05-24T04:19:00.000+08:00

.. my floral blogskin.

Took me hours man.. Sorry if yall're blinded by the flowers, I'm just indulging myself. :)

Now for some sleep.

(Btw, I drew on my bottle alr! So far only heard ONE favourable comment, from Ana. I thk guys have no taste.)

I have a big ego.

2006-05-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes that really bugs me.

Like now. Like my reluctance to say sorry, not because I don't want to, not that I don't admit I'm wrong, but just because I don't know how.

You know how pple with big ego are said to be over-confident, proud, tactless.

I thk our main problem is we're just too sensitive.

Woohooooo~

2006-05-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

I ran.

Yes, you read it right, I actually ran on Wed.

I saw Muk on my way to the stadium and he scowled and refused to talk to me because I told the Khatib clan earlier I cant go out, I'm sick, yet there I was going running. Cmon man, I wasn't intentionally bailing out on yall.. Ok? It's just that I WANT to get better by thurs and since J1 I realised I usually get better faster if I run. Haha yea I'm weird like that.

Anw, I did feel better afterwards, despite my ongoing dripping nose and the occasional sneezing frenzy. AND despite the sore muscles now. (oww..)

I was actually surprised I managed to maintain a faster than usual pace throughout the 6 rounds. I kept telling myself I needed to slow down or else I'd pancet buden I still dint. I just wanted to see how far I could push myself I guess.. At the end of it I did 6 rounds plus 1 round cool-down in under 15min! HA.... I KNOW it's not GREAT, all you weird, CRAZY, under-9 min pple. But it's a good start for me k.. I'm proud of myself. (Hehee.. Tak malu.)

OH on my way home, I noticed this old guy trailing me.. I walked under void deck, he walk under void deck, walked through carpark, he walked through carpark, void deck again, he still followed. Wah I was qt sure he was out to rape me man! I just walked fast fast ah.. LUCKY after a while I looked back and he was GONE! Either he had no whatsoever intention in the 1st place (RIGHT.) or a whiff of air passed by from me to him and he passed out from the odour. Haha.. Wdv man..

I did go get my bbq chicken from causeway cold storage!! Hahahahhaa.. yea man.. I'm a happy lady.. BUT despite all the trouble I went through, pple still complain, keras lar itu lar.. NOT NICE, KASI BALIK AH... (kidding lar.. *grins* ) I thought that it was nice! Buden again I was HUNGRY and I mengidam it for years alr....

K k.. Watched Mentah III: Barisan Puteri- Puteri yest with katak and fie. Overall it was great and it brought out several issues that I'd love to ponder upon with interested pple. And there were some great lines man! Funny shits! Aper fie aku jer ker can't stop laughing, kau pun per!! SHE esp cracked up at this scene when this mum was complaining abt her TAK GUNA teenage children. She cant help but relate cos she also TAK GUNA hahaa kan kan bangun lambat lagi kan tak buat kerja rumah.... The 1st play, of course, I could see how much Katak has contributed as Advisor. It was as if the man himself was THERE, on stage! Haha.. watch it.

Alright! Going to Bugis now with the khatib clan to collect my murtabak and fadz to fix his bag!

Adios salamos. :)

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman

2006-05-17T18:05:00.000+08:00

(Bryan Adams)

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?

ah..CHOO!

2006-05-16T23:01:00.000+08:00

SO beb came back bearing several gifts, namely a dvd, a frame and A FREAKIN BUG.

As much as it breaks my heart that he's sniffing away, feeling loya at silat, no appetite to eat, it KILLS me that my throat feels just as bad and I keep sneezing away.. I mean, if I'm sick, who's gonna take care of you right...... Right.

Anw. There's no panadol in the house now.. Will make puppy faces at my dad tmr so he'll get me some. I'll be good and stay home (and finish all my unfinished businesses, i.e. pb). Hope my MUM wont cleverly use my being sick as a reason to not allow me to Fez's play on thurs man I'd just DIE I tell you...

You know what, I like going out with beb because he notices pple the way I do. The past few times I was out with my cousins or bro or the misc, they are practically blind!! Everytime I say "You saw that *so and so*?" they'd be like "No"!! BORIIIIING.. And it gets quite frustrating too because I'm ALWAYS pointing pple out because I lurrrve to look at pple's faces or clothes or the way they act.. And then talk abt them. Not to kutuk (insult) ok.. Just comment comment only hahaa... Sometimes even admire.

On the other hand, beb usually would notice or even if he doesnt, he'd try to catch a glimpse of the person I'm talking abt.. And he'd point out pple to me too.. (ok NOT pple. Parts of pple, more like.. ;P)

Haaa.. it's fun!

Ok I realised I'm really quite tired alr. Eh mat limau. When's my SWENSEN's TREAT???

Kawan-kawan, Mat Limau nak treat kita swensens ni.. Biler korang korang free?

Heehee.. ;P

I was forced to do this

2006-05-15T17:50:00.000+08:00

Hi friends.. So my friend threatened to sever friendship if I wouldn't put a decent pic of himself. It was really hard to find.... I mean, Him? Decent? Finally found this. Hope it'll suffice.

(I'd kill for the cheeks though.. Really. Hahaa ;p)

counting down!

2006-05-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

Ok so I was uploading all the tree top trail pix but haha I decided to draft that 1st, to tell yall,
he's coming back.

Haahahhahaa... Macam mana nyer impt gitu ehh...

K k.. a few hours to go.... :)

(Haha SAVE your comments, Fuhan, I know what u gonna say..)

Picnic at West Coast!

2006-05-14T20:32:00.000+08:00

Supposedly, our 8th May Outing was planned from waaaaaay back... Even before the start of exams! As it turned out, the venue was decided that very morning, and only because I decided to take the opp to sekali arung recce for PB. Guess what, the actual planners, Nad and Kamie, even bailed out on us!! Tsk tsk tsk...

Haha it started out pretty "mendak", as some of you called it, I agree.. We explored the obstacle course area while Katak went jogging round the park and some pple, happily missing. ;) But after that we played Captain's Ball and Monkey and things started to pick up..

Dah penat2 burn fats of course we were famished by maghrib. But we're only to be disappointed. Most of us got Chips for our share in the Potluck. So that was our dinner. Sungguh tak menyelerakan. Thank God Md Noor had foresight, he was the only one who brought close to REAL FOOD- Nuggets and popcorn chicken! Yumm..

Oh, us girls, being the NICE and RESOURCEFUL pple we are, went to macs to get Fries and drinks (PAY OFF YOUR DEBTS PPLE! THE DRINKS AND FRIES COST MONEY!! KESIAN HAFIE! Haha I also havent pay her...) and took 1 whole packet of sauce!!! Of every flavour imaginable! Hahaa.. The guy at the counter practically sneered at us. Oh well.

Ooh we played "Have you ever.." over dinner and heh.. we now know there are pple who tried to make music of their fart. ;P

Too bad Faizola's not in this picture! He came later. Maly joined us for a while before vroooming off again. And I've to admit, it'd be a greater hoot if Kamie, Zahzah, Nad and Naz were there......

Click on the pic to access the whole album!

Next up, the long overdue tree top trail pix!

He called!

2006-05-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

From KL!!!

All I could say was "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh.." which made him laugh and say I sounded so awe-struck.

I was.

It was soooo nice to hear his voice and probably for the 1st time in my life it occurred to me to thank God for Singtel and TM or whoever it was that put up all those satellites and comm infrastructure that allowed me that single moment of happiness.

I'd be contented to stick my phone to my ear for longer if not for the fact he was using his dad's phone and there are bills to worry abt (not complaining.. No bills, no money. No money, no satellite. No satellite, no call the next time. Haha..).

I miss him (how nice to hear his laugh) .

ANYWaaaaaaaayyyy.......

The good I got out of him being away was that, by desperately trying to occupy my time with other things I actually did some pretty good things.

Like watching Emma. Old show, 1997.. Very good, heartwarming, witty and well gwyneth palthrow, where can you go wrong with her.

Andddddd.... I talked to my mum.

I realised that it's really quite nice to just talk to her, I think she quite enjoyed talking to me too. Ok there are moments when I couldn't care less. You know.. How nagging to mothers is like breathing to the rest of us haha.. But I guess that's not being fair to her. She's really qt good-natured. And funny. IF, I'm not making her angry :p

So ok, she told me there was this time when I wanted to be Fauziah Latiff, some popular singer of yesteryears. Not my fault! Lotsa pple likened me to Fauziah Latiff last time, ok?! Because of my long wavy hair and big eyes maybe. And I like her! Ha.. She was recounting alot more things abt me when I was younger but I'm NOT gonna write it here for the sake of my FACE.

Anw. So I decided I really shd take on my bro's advice to try get closer to my parents over this hols. (Yea.. my brother advises me these sorta things.)

Ok it's dinner time now and I'm famished. My dad cooked lemak ayam cili padi!!! Yay!! (My bro was telling my mum it's his fav dish but my mum told him "Tak, ni Nurul nyer favourite." and my bro was like "Tak, Hafiz punyer." and my mum "Tak, Nurul punyer." And it went on like that for qt abit. When I said "Ni kita dua-dua nyer favourite" my mum said "Ah, ye lar.. Tapi yang masak, abahnyer jugak." Hahaa.. I love my mum.)

Eh dun forget, tmr's mothers day! My fam's going airport to eat. :D

Happy (advanced) Mother's Day to all the mothers reading this! (Ha.. What are the chances?!)

Ahh here is my no 1 love.

Adam, my 5 yr old tutee's brother.. This is the boy who's been kissing my hand and shoulder and hugging me everytime he's upset with his cousin. Cute kan... Katak calls him a threat. ;D

Nooranah, this drama mama of a pri 5 kid. She soo can talk! It was all I could do to make sure she gets her work done. Oh but she says some very funny things!

Another time! I shall eat and afterwards find more things to occupy my mind with.

Oh well. 200 years to go...

Come away with me

2006-05-12T02:56:00.000+08:00

my favourite man

This song played on the radio while we were on the cab after visiting Fadz at TTSH, Tues. Turned to him to say 'nice song!' but he was already asleep. It was approaching night and raining outside. And as the song played on, I just thought, "How lovely...."

Gonna miss you beb. 400 years.. Haha..

--------------------

(Norah Jones)

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

the 100th post

2006-05-05T02:01:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been kind to me, despite a bad trip (not literal) I had on Sunday.. Yea.. That's the real reason why I can't go out much this hols.. Got into my parents bad books last Sun and had to spend the rest of this lifetime (and the next) sucking up.. Doing housework being at home all the schitz. YES.. I do do some housework ok.. Some. HAHAHA..

Anw, I just started reading this book "Fearless Relationships: Simple Rules for Lifelong Contentment" and one of the rules that made an impression was "Be kind no matter what."

The author, Karen Casey, narrated an excerpt she got off another book in the 70's by John Powell. Every morning Powell and his friend would be walking down a New York City street and would stop to buy a newspaper from a street corner vendor. And every morning this vendor would be very rude towards his friend, still, all the same, the friend would treat the vendor very kindly and even tip him . Believing that the vendor probably deserved a rebuff instead, Powell asked his friend on why he was always being so kind. His friend answered, "Why should I let him decide what kind of a day I am going to have?"

There so many times when we are faced with unpleasant pple or circumstances that can really make our blood 'go upstairs' and more often than not, we'd get frustrated and react in a similarly unpleasant manner. And for the rest of the day or even some days afterwards we'd not be able to escape that horrid feeling from the encounter. This, Casey described, is like being "held hostage.. by other people's behaviour."

I know this feeling. In fact recently I was just recounting about how horrid I felt when I was confronted by a very unpleasant being who frustrated me so much I broke down. And for sometime afterwards I let that dictate how I was going to behave towards him (coldly) and naturally our (inevitable) interactions weren't as effective. Upon reflection, I realised that what I did really did not help matters. Even if a kind response isn't forthcoming, Casey added, the next best thing would be to walk away.

Walking away does not necessarily show defeat. In fact, in certain circumstances, it does reflect your strength, if nothing else, in self-control.

As Dalai Lama once said, "Your assignment in this life is to love one another. And if you can't love one another, at least don't hurt one another." :)

Yup yup.. Here are some points that may help in keeping kindness in mind...

Pause a moment before answering a question. And in that moment, remember kindness.
Being kind does not mean agreeing with the other person.
Being kind is using a soft voice, a smile, an acknowledgement, and not using hurtful words.
Kindness can be practised until it becomes real.
Acting as if we feel kind is just as good as feeling kind to begin with.
Kindness isn't weakness.

So let us all strivvvvvvve to be kind k.. I know for some pple, it would take like some major effort *cough-katak-cough*, but insya Allah, we can do it! Remember, the point is to not let the other person decide what kinda day YOU are gonna have.. And to be kind no matter what.

As for that 'being' I mentioned, I'm trying to focus on his 'good' and forget the 'other other' stuffs. Oh yea! My mum also pesan-ed to me to always doa for Allah to lembutkan hati orang yang kita sedang berurusan dengan, semoga urusan kita dilancarkan.. (err.. My malay-to-english translations sucks, but it roughly means when dealing with another person, we pray that God will soften the heart of that person so that our dealings with him will be smoother.. Haha.. What did I say abt my translations..) I think just the simple act of making that doa will make us feel better already.. :) :)

Ok lar.. It's really past 3, and I have to wake up early tmr (later) because of my date with THE GIRLS (zahzah fifi mimi daisy happyily and baba (i cant end with an 'i'-sound for that!)) to take the Tree Top Trail at macritchie! Haa.. The things we do when we're bored.

And before I go, here are some snapshots of the Macho Man *trumpet blows* !! Haa.. Looking not so macho, unfortunately. Try to spot the pic in which he was holding the straw so daintily!

(click for a larger view)

Spot it? It's the 3rd pic from the left in the top strip.

Oh see the 3 pics in which he was looking at my phone abashed? Haa.. What he was watching is a vid of him LIP-SYNCHING to Seroja. Mawi AND Siti. Funny shits. Hahaa.. Sorry macho man. I have to save the world from their delusion abt you.. ;)

No Tomorrow

2006-05-01T13:18:00.000+08:00

An upbeat number for allll the pple who're DONE with the annoying exams!! For those pple who haven't, TOO BAD. Haa Kidding lar.. Check out the lyrics below, it's funny! Look out for our fav drink, 'Red Bull'!!!
What ya waiting for, Click it!

-------------------------

(Orson)
Let's go to a rave,
And behave like we're trippin'
Simply 'cause we're so in love.

Funny hats, shiny pants
All we need for some romance,
Go get dolled-up
And I'll pick you up.

There's no line for you and me
'Cause tonight we're V.I.P.
(I know somebody at the door).

I see that twinkle in your eye,
You shake that ass and I just die,
Let's check our coats and move out to the floor.

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.

Just look at me, Silly Me,
I'm as happy as can be-
I got a girl who thinks I rock.
And tomorrow there's no school,
So lets go drink some more Red Bull,
And not get home 'till about 6:00.

When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter.
Turn that music up
'Till the windows start to shatter
'Cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet.
And I can't even dance.

Everybody here is staring
At the outfit that you're wearing
I love it when they check you out.
Cover's only twenty bucks,
And even if the dj sucks
It's time to turn this mutha out!

When we're together
When we're together
There's no tomorrow,
There's no tomorrow
When we're together
There's no one in the world
but you and me oh
you and me oh
You and me

Bora Bora

2006-05-01T11:47:00.000+08:00

Atikk, you're right!

Gosh Bora Bora Island is gorgeous la..

Part of the Society Islands, French Polynesia, Bora Bora is largely acclaimed to be the world's most beautiful island.. I can believe that. It's surrounded by another world's most beautiful, lagoon.. Not alot of beaches here lar.. Apparently it has only a few narrow strips.. But you can go diving here.. And parasailing too!! Man.. I so wanna parasail...

This is the overwater bungalow and the glass panel that Atikk was talking abt.. I saw another photo which revealed the glass panel to be quite big.. Sungguh memuaskan (really satisfying).. The interiors of the bungalows are also gorge... Haa wanna know the price? The cheapest is arnd 498 EUR per night, which is equal to abt 1 065 SGD. That's for just a normal Lagoonview Villa, they call it. For an overwater one, it's going at a whooping 1040 EURO!! Fuhh.. That's 2225.60 SGD. PER NIGHT. (tt's like most pple's 1 mth's worth of pay) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Heheh....

Cute eh.. Hais.. My kid will grow up loving the sun and the beach.. Hahaa..

Oh yea. I'm sorry pple, don't think I can join you guys on your posh trips to the movies or ice skating or pasar malam anymore. I realised that in order to accommodate my lavish lifestyle in the future, I need to start saving up whatever I can now. Haa.. Responsible kan.. Independent too.. Hahaa.. Ok.. So if you all are going out, please don't expect me to tag along ok... I shall be scrooge from now on. ;)

Oh ya thanks Atikk for introducing me to the WORLD's MOST BEAUTIFUL ISLAND. Anybody else has any other recommendations?

I shall learn how to swim.

2006-04-30T09:28:00.000+08:00

Because when I get rich, I would be travelling to all the exclusive exotic places with turqoise blue sea and I'd need the skills.

Like in here .. This is Koh Racha Yai off Phuket.. It's like a whole enclave just for you.

Same place.. Just look at that.. The landscape, not the couple.. Yea ok well.. AND the couple.. Imagine yourself on those rocks instead..

And here.. Beach at Caladesi Island State Park in Florida.. I know it's America and somehow the romantic appeal is lost.. But Gosh, I don't care.. it's beautiful! I must say this is one of the more beautiful ones.. Although it's sparse.. (and you'll have to walk 83242 km before you eventually reach the resort after your frolick in the water.) haha..

Another American coastline, this time in Maine.. See that exclusive strip.

And here.. Maldives.. Oooh.. I'm really in love with the colours here.. Oh look at that.. It's gorgeous..

Seychelles.. I googled and found out it's in the Indian Ocean, just northeast of Madagascar.. This is just one of the beaches on one of the many islands there.. Don't you think this place looks spectacular.. I can't wait to go and see it for real..

Oh I thk I really like beaches with looming rocks in the background or in the distant.. Issit because of the contrast in height... Like it would really amplify the realisation that you're down there.. Ok maybe it's just my biasness towards mountains.

And last but not least... the now not-so-exclusive maya beach on Phi Phi Lay Island, Phuket... THE beach in The Beach. It looked reeeally good in the movie...

Future Husband, whoever you might be.. take note. I LOVE beaches.

K before I go, of course, I must rub it in... My papers are over!!! MUAAAAAAAHAHAHA....
Nvm pple, namely- Hafie Maly Zah Zah Muk Mat Limau Gdfren Wan etc etc.. you can do it! like abt 72hours to go before freedom!!!!!!

And I must say.. I find guys with the 2nd-to-4th-day-after-shave stubbles hawt... hahaa...

Now I shall leave you all with of course, the Man from The Beach himself.. When he was MUCH cuter..

Oh.. What a good chin..

Ok! Gotta go vacuum the house now! Haa.. I do hope to see you crazy school pple soon.. ;)

For her

2006-04-20T19:09:00.000+08:00

You're a Travel!

2006-04-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

Stop the clock! Your inner superpower is TIMETRAVEL! Your answers show a keen sense of insight for all the mysteries of time. Whether you enjoy reminiscing about thepast or find yourself lost in thoughts of the future, your energies definitely point away from the present. Maybe you're mere seconds ahead or behind the rest of us, but you could also be days or even years out of sync. Your unique position in time and space gives you a wider perspective on daily events and makes you an especially wise person. You're probably a great planner. And since time is yours to play with, it's almost a given that you manage it well. If you haven't yet taken a trip through the fourth dimension, you're in for the ride of your life. Don't delay! Visit the future. Fix the past. And when you come across a very special moment, make it last as long as you like.

Ah, timetravel, I see.. No wonder I'm ever the procrastinator. I must have innately known this of myself all along!

And the part abt me being "out of sync".. Haa.. How probable.... :)

I'm gonna laze away today, then tonight I shall do the Hermione thg in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and turn back time.

No. I shall do the thg I've put away for too long..

I must get over these "a hundred years" feelings... You being the way you are is not helping.

:)

Wish you were here.

Pills

2006-04-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

(The Perishers)

I hope my smile can distract you
I hope my fists can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love can blind you
I hope my arms can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not ok

One may think we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground with every passing day
We’re not ok

But that’s one thing I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you

Your hands are shaking cold...

2006-04-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

Your hands are mine to hold.

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong

move along, move along like I know you do..

And even when your hope is gone, move along,

move along just to make it through
Move along...

When I got the news from Elaine on Monday, my knees gave way. It was something that I had probably expected but never wanted to hear..

Ya Allah, most merciful, ease her pain, and that of the people who love her.

Shufang, you're the Fighter.

-----

DONATION APPEAL FOR FRIEND STRICKEN WITH CANCER *
* *
Hi to all,
My ex-RJC classmate, Joan Chan Shu Fang, an ex-RGS (Class 406 '02), and RJC (Class 2S03N '04) student is now suffering from a cancer relapse stage 4 which is just one stage away from the terminal stage. Her story was published on the Sunday Times on 25th Dec 2005.

In RGS, she was a Peer Support Leader and the 1st Seant in the NCC. In RJC, she was the captain of the school softball team (2004). We are at the prime of our lives. But Joan is silently enduring the pains of cancer at home as we experience an exciting varsity life, and complain about unending workloads. She is denied the chance of a bright future, and really, there is nothing more we want than to see her healthy and to be able to walk alongside us again. I sincerely appeal to all Rafflesians and anyone who would like to reach out to help our dearest fellow Singaporean to make your kind contrbutions. Every little way helps. Her only hope now is the new drug, Iressa. It has never been tried before. If she does not take the drug, or if the drug fails, she has less than a year to live. The drug alone costs $6000 a month. Each pill costs $200 and she has to take 2 pills per day. Currently, she has 20% chance of survival. Let us do our part to help her.
Here is an excerpt from her most recent blog entry on 22nd March 06,
" Apparently there is a big patch of cancer cells on the left side and the back of my neck. it is impairing the blood flow from my face to the rest of the body that's why my face is swollen. the nerves controlling my left hand starts from the neck too that's why my left hand trembles and the finger tips are numb. the cancer has eaten into the small bone near the left ear and it's blocking the tube that connects the ear to the neck. it is causing fluid to build up behind my ear drum. this has resulted in tinitus, which is this buzzing sound in my ear, and mild hearing loss in the left ear as well. the cancer has also affected my spinal cord, causing one section to be loose which is why i always have to hold my head as my spine can't support my head anymore. to fix this problem, i have to wait till the cancer's gone then go for surgery again to fix it. i cannot be operated on as the operation would be too dangerous and radiotherapy is out of the option as i just went through one cycle of it. therefore, my options are limited and i just want to say my dear friends, i am prepared for the worst. but i want to thank all of you for your love and care. i will not give up till the very end and i hope i will be remembered in your hearts as a fighter always."

There was a fund raising project for Joan at this yr's ORA (Old Rafflesians' Association) funfair. The air rifle pple had sold 300+ T-shirts for $10 each. Also, part of the money raised from the ORA donation cards will be channelled to the fund. The aim was to raise $36000, which will pay for 6 mths of her treatment. Right now, I am liaising with ORA as to how our donations could be proceeded to the fund.
Please send me an email or drop me a msg on msn at * skyblue_cc@hotmail.com
*preferably BEFORE THE END OF THE EASTER BREAK to let me know if you would like to make a donation.
Let us make a difference. Kindness knows no boundaries. Your help will be very much appreciated. Thanks a million!!
With warmest regards,
Christine

-------

Please pray for her.

A String of Babes..

2006-04-17T13:15:00.000+08:00

as Maly calls it. Hee! ;)

Yummmmm......

2006-04-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

Short one. And NO MARRIAGE talk! :D

Wah I'm SOOOPER contented now ah.. Had a total feast of pasar malam food. Again!

This time with the katak! Best! We like borong satu pasar malam!!

Between us, we bought 4 ayam percik, 2 roti john, 2 char kway sotong, 2 burger ramli special, 2 roti kirai, 1 japanese crabstick pizza (but the makcik good person gave us 1 extra so 2 also) and dendeng!!!Ha.... BANYAK kaaaaan....... HAHHAHAAA...

Shiok man! Actually I feel like buying more! Like cempedak goreng, the seaweed chicken thgy, wanton.. But somebody already calling me "gemok" so oh well, SOME OTHER TIME. ;P

I came home, spread the food on the floor in front of the tv and ate with my mum and bro (my dad already asleep on a mattress in front of the tv also. My fam has been spring cleaning the house since Fri, so he kepenatan. Kesian..). So much for my mum telling me NOT to buy anything before that. Haha..

So now I'm a VERY happy person.

Many thanks to the person who endured the painstaking, almost endless train ride aaaall the way to khatib to accompany me.. (Even though I think he was really there to protect me from the hot mats. HAHA! Kidding kidding.)

So what are you all waiting for? Come on down to the Pasar Malam at Khatib for a food-shopping experience of your lifetime. Don't miss out! :)

Your true colour is Orange!

2006-04-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.

What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

Rigght.

I feel like the unfriendliest person in the world actually. Though I'd try not to think that way, you know.. So it won't be like a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't mind friends. Yea.. Friends are good.

:p

Haha but I do like Orange. Orange is nice.

Ok ok quick update. So much for finishing computing by Fri, have yet to touch it. Been reading my Interpersonal skills readings instead. I must say, they are quite interesting. Who's gonna take that module next sem? I'll gladly pass over my tonnes of readings.

I went to the pasar malam again (for the 3rd time, actually. I like it!) and I BOUGHT THE CHEESE CHICKEN SAUSAGE!!!!!! Muahahaa... So I'm a happy person. But it wasn't thaaaat great. Otak-otak was a better choice, gd frens *nods in affirmation*. I'm sooo going there again tmr to buy ayam percik. Just now it was calling out to me, I could almost swear. Too bad I was full already. Til tmr!

Btw bought for my parents roti john and just before I left the stall the mat asked 'Dah kahwin belum?' (You married yet?) Of course I just pretended I dint hear and walked away.. But I was INSULTED. Do I look thaaat old? Was commenting to katak, I thought I still look 17? (hahaha..)

Speaking abt marriage. A friend my age is getting married next year. Was discussing this with shad and she said her childhood friend our age IS married. We both agreed that we're at that marriageable age.. But because of uni (and other things like the lack of marriage-material guys, ahem..) I guess we're not really plagued by this issue yet. Thank God.Wait long long ah.. (But not too long, too..) My mum would say, "Masak pun belum pandai, jangan nak kawan-kawan ehh.." (Don't even know how to cook, so don't even think of getting into a r/s yet ok?!" Ha... ;p

Shit I just realised this was another entry mentioning marriage. SHEESH. Sorry pple. I shall refrain from the topic for the next 1 mth. Try to. Haha!

Good luck for exams!

Wishin' + Hopin'

2006-04-12T13:37:00.000+08:00

(Ani DiFranco)

Wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin',
Planning and dreamin' each night of his charms.
That won't get you into his arms

So if you're looking for love you can share
All you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and love him,
And show him that you care.

Show him that you care, just for him.
Do the things that he likes to do.
Wear your hair just for him, 'cause,
You won't get him, thinkin' and a prayin',
Wishin' and hopin'.

'Cause wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin',
Planning and dreamin' his kisses will start.
That won't get you into his heart!

So if you're thinking how great true love is
All you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and squeeze him, and love him.
Yeah, just do it!
And after you do, you will be his.

You gotta show him that you care just for him.
Do the things that he likes to do.
Wear your hair just for him, 'cause,
You won't get him, thinkin' and a prayin',
Wishin' and a hopin'.

'Cause wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin',
Planning and dreamin' his kisses will start.
That won't get you into his heart!

So if you're thinking how great true love is...

All you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and squeeze him, and love him.
Yeah, just do it!
And after you do, you will be his.

You will be his.

You will be his!

Headrush.

2006-04-12T12:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was PLEASANTLY SURPRISED (haha..) to meet Fuhan outside the central library. I guess she must have been PLEASANTLY SURPRISED to see me too, cos then she offered to take me on a tour to her archi studio!

It was exhilarating. Like I told her, to be surrounded by all the artistic people and props and papers.. And there was this sorta like artisty-vibe-ish thgy in the air.. Though maybe it was just stale breath left by all the people who slept over there over the weekend. Oh but it was so exciting to have your own desk and this sorta corkscrew board where they could pin up whatever they like and I see people personalizing their boards with lotsa nice thgs.. Like designs or photos of buildings or posters.

Of course, Fuhan being the lazy ass that she is, dint do anything to her board lar.. Only got 3 notes on it, those also put up NOT BY HER but by her good-willed FRIENDS.. Hahaa.. Oh but I got to see her Sem 1 sketches and I must say, I'm impressed! They were good! I can ACTUALLY make out what she was drawing!! (hahaa.. ok ok... kidding!) Good luck to you for ur crit! Hope it went well.. :)

Oh I wished I had taken pictures of her at her studio..

Anw.. There's a pasar malam at khatib. My gd frenSSS - the original and the newly-added- and I went there on Monday! Haa SO FUN! Gd fren Fadz bought for us Ramli burger (with cheese and bbq sauce and mayo. Yummm!), gd fren Muk bought us bubble tea (when was the last time yall had that?!) and I treated otak-otak! Haa all in conjuction of the International Friendship Day which was supposed to be on Fri from what my tutee told me. Haa.. Muk, I'm dreaming of the chicken cheese sausage still, you know! This is awful.. I better go and get it soon. Oh I decided I love Pasar Malams!

Ok ok lemme tell you my plans for revision k..

I'm gonna do English today, finish it. Computing til Fri. Over the weekend Statistics and start on Community Work. Whole of next week on Comm work, Interpersonal Skills, and I'll take breaks from my SW readings by doing stats. Haa.. How's that for a plan?

And I must also say.. The past few days have been a blur of smiles.. I guess that's the ONE good thing outta hanging out with a katak.

:)

And so...

2006-04-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

.... we talked about anything and everything and we laughed and grinned and smiled and as I looked at you I prayed "God, bless this."

Can't get enough.
:)

Breathing

2006-04-07T19:25:00.000+08:00

(Lifehouse)

I've found a long way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there...
Take a breath and hold on tight
And spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace'

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be...

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind
Into the truth and I'm
Trying to identify the voices in my head
God, I wish it were you
Let me feel one more time what it
Feels like to feel
And break these callous tears off of me
one more time'

Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me

'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside your door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah-ah...

I don't want a thing from you
I bet you're tired of me
Waiting for the scratch to fall off
Of your table to the ground...

'Cause I just wanna be here now...
'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah...

'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah

Mat yoyo

2006-04-07T01:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday the hot serani guy pretended to be a mat and made those suwiit-suwiit sounds at me.

But he failed miserably because he's not cute enough.

He's too GAWWWWWGEOUS.

;p

This is a public statement.

2006-04-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry....

"You were right...

2006-04-05T21:31:00.000+08:00

.... Life is greater than death. And love is greater than either. " ~ Tristan in Tristan + Isolde

Today was 'abuse and be abused' day. Mentally physically and emotionally. Hais.. Why do I put up with this... Oh yea. Cos I haven't found my ferrari-giver man yet. Hais........

Tristan + Isolde was not bad.. I guess it was worth a trip to the movies.. The cinematography was spectacular! So beautiful.. The costumes were nice too.. And the story's quite compelling, a medieval love story. You can practically seeeee the love la between the 2 of them yea you'd wanna cry.. It's over 2 hours.. But like Troy, you wont notice the time at all.. It's good... however, it's not fantastic.. Give me braveheart or gladiator any time.

Or A Knight's Tale, have yall caught it? It's the one starring Heath Ledger and the very hot Shannyn Sossamon. haha, ok I've never heard of her either, actually had to google it. But oh, she's hot. Really!! Don't believe me?? Here's a pic of her! Infact, I'll give you 2!

This is her in her A Knight's Tale costume.. She plays a snobbish, mischievous and very hot princess. I love the costume too.. for the whole movie. I think they were fantastic. The costume designer is very coooool..

Oh look at that.. She's really hot.. I've never been so smitten ever since liv tyler. And oh kay oh kay.. lindsay lohan. Hey! Lindsay Lohan is hot ok! She's looking better now that she lost some weight again but not so thin that she'd look malnourished. I'd love to put a pic of her, but that would take the attn off Shannyn Sossamon and ha.. I wont want that.

But James Franco (Tristan) did have a drool-worthy bod.. Hais it was really hard to keep my saliva in ler but oh well, macho man was beside me so.. need to.. you know.. give a little respect... Haha!! But I guess you'll really love him in the movie.. He sacrificed his love for duty, and also respect for the man who saved him.

But hais, the story line really makes me wanna kill people!!!! GOSH!!! It's so frickin irritating lar!! 1st of all the bad guy, I couldn't catch his name, the traitor, REEEALLY has a "smack-me" face and he's really SO ANNOYINGLY un-LOYAL!!!!!! I wish I had those thgies they used in the movie, the stick with a spike metal ball at the end; I'd give him a mighty swing in the head man. Man, he's ANNOYING!!!

And the love story, is SOOOO TRAGIC laaaaaaa... Gosh, I wanted to SMACK both tristan and Isolde for being so stupid. Menyusahkan diri! So Isolde got married off to someone else, and you know what? Just before they went off to do the 'first night' thgy, she told Tristan "I'll pretend it's you." Aaaahhhhhh... That's SOOOOO SAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD... *sobs-blows nose-sobs*

Ok, sorry for the drama.. It's the 1st movie I caught after some time la.. So got a lil over-excited. Go catch it!!!

Butttt... haa.. I'm not done yet. James Franco (the guy in spiderman, btw..) reminded me of my another love, Kip Pardue.. Of Return of the Titans (haha! reason of my love) and Driven. He has this good-boy-ish quality abt him. Which is lacking in ALOT of guys.. He's really cute!

Coincidentally, as I was looking for pictures, I found out that Kip Pardue acted with Shannyn Sossamon in a couple of movies! Rules of Attraction (2002) and Undiscovered (2005)! Haa.. I've got good tastes, don't I... I think they're perfect! Ok I want to see Rules of Attraction it seems interesting... And in case you don't recall who in the hell is Kip Pardue (you don't deserve to live, really. But I shall be lenient) here he is!

This is him in Driven.

And this, in Return of the Titans (woohoo, a great movie!!!).

Woohoo!! Ok hot celebs aside, I'm really into floral prints now. Hahaaa you would have noticed if you saw the dresses I'm wearing. Much to the disgust of macho man, really (oh tt's the reason why I call him macho man in the 1st place.. because he's too 'macho' to appreciate my floral print dresses). Gi jalan sua.. I'm sticking to them. I love the floral print napkin I got from my friend's house so much I used it to wrap the cover of my diary. And I'm gonna design a new blogskin based on floral prints ler.. Watch out for it..

I love the shops Prints and Bookbinders I always dream of owning a shop like that.. So.. creative. And artsy.. And chic. And all the artsy people will come over and get prints at MY shop before they go on and sashay down to the esplanade or the Art House or whatever. Of course I wont be creative enough to come up with the designs myself, I'd hire people for that. Of course once in a while I'd contribute some, and they'd be the Limited Edition pieces. (haa.. sekali they don't even get sold!)

Anw. I got off from the net some lovely prints. Courtesy of Creative Papers Online .

Look at these la.. Oh they are 4 separate pieces, I hope yall knew. ;P I picasa-ed them together cos too lazy to insert 1 by 1. Ahh I love the gold blockprint.

Okk.. I'll stop boring yall.. I shall go do english tut now! Hahaaa.. today was qt a good day! Despite all the complaints!

Oh.. And I'm just like 40 min advanced.. But who cares.

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY, Gd fren!!!!!!!!!!

hahaa.. Can't wait for your Fong Seng lunch treat tmr! Right, johnny? Hahhaahahahahahaa... :)

Guess where I am....

2006-04-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

.......................

..at HOME!!!!!

Haaaaaaaahahahhahahahahhahahahahhaaaa...

FINALLY, my internet is running again.. After what, 3 months?? You don't know how MUCH I miss lying on my bed and surfing man.. I MISS IT!!! Woohoo!!!

Now I no longer have to travel allll the way to school, or macs. *dances crazily*

ANw...
Today is yet another unproductive day..

Having access to the net for a whole half of the day I just occupied myself downloading pretty pretty pictures. The next half I spent trying to come up with a decent blog skin.. It's a hairsplitting job really.. And I still have no idea what exactly I wanna do la the designs I came up with were quite shitty I wanna puke looking at it.

Hais I love browsing through DeviantART they've got some very good designs at very high resolutions.. I bet all the pple who came up with them are like our age.. But their std is blardee good lar.. As compared to mine, that is. I need to find a real life inspirational design person who'll sit with me and show me the ropes ler.. It's really boring experimenting by myself.. And online tutorials can only do so much. Oh yea that reminds me, the next time I get myself 1 million dollars I shall go get one of those photoshop books. Money.. Come SOON!!!!

Besides graphics there were also loads of nice photographs at deviantart and another site stock.xchng. Got these adds at the photoshop workshop pbm organised.. (haha berguna jugak ehh pbm events...) Basically these sites put up mostly royalty-free pictures/designs at high resolution, which is useful if you're working on something BIG.

Hais.. Looking at all the pretty photos make me wanna go out and do some shooting. Was thinking.. if only I were rich, SO RICH that I don't have to work to support myself and can afford to just spend days and weeks on escapades to faraway lands and shoot away.. And stay in 5-star hotels while I'm there.. True Adam King style (the guinness photographer guy, if yall recall). Haaz Rizal, Macho man's friend, just HAD to remind me that macho man is not rich enough for my tastes and I should just dump him and find my ferrari-giver man but hais WHERE CAN I FIND THAT MAN LAA YOU TELL ME so I guess for the mean time macho man will do me just fine... He's good entertainment sometimes. ;p

Oh anw yesterday had dinner with fifi, zahzah and mimi.. (MIMI!!!! Hahaa, was just trying to continue the pattern) at macs. Macho man was willing to sacrifice his machoness to spend like over an hour with four VERY CRAZY and VERY HIGH girls hahaa poor him but I bet he was amused too it was A RIOT! The 3 of them were SO FUNNY!!! Oh do you know they actually got themselves salt-free fries!!! All in the spirit of Eating Healthy at McDonald's. :D

Actually most of the attn was on MIMI who was so cute yesterday.. Haha was teasing her abt her ditch-me ep on Sat, then afterwards abt her 'hold-hands and announce "we're getting married!"' possibility in the future. Then she REFUSED to talk to me afterwards!!!! And despite all my insidious tactics to try to trip her, SHE WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT IT...... Haha.. Damn. But I wont give up.

A hundred years I tell you a hundred years...
Can't wait for tomorrow to come........ :)

Hais this really cannot continue haha if Fuhan knows what I'm talking abt she'll call me wimpy again hahaahhahahahaaa...

Follow Through

2006-03-31T15:48:00.000+08:00

(Gavin DeGraw)

Oh, this is the start of something good,
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons,
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction,
As we are standing on our feet.

So, since you want to be with me,
You'll have to follow through,
With every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you,
You to stick around.
I'll see you everyday,
But you have to follow through.
You have to follow through.

These reeling emotions they just keep me alive,
They keep me in tune.
Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire,
This is for you.
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart.

So, since you want to be with me,
You'll have to follow through,
With every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you,
(for) you to stick around.
I'll see you everyday,
But you have to follow through.

The words you say to me are unlike anything that's ever been said.
Ahh, and what you do to me is unlike anything that's ever been.
Am I to obvious to preach it? You're so hypnotic on my heart,

So, since you want to be with me.
You have to follow through,
with every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you,
(for) you to stick around.
I'll see you everyday.

So, since you want to be with me,
you'll have to follow through with every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you,
(for)you to stick around.
I'll see you everyday, but you have to follow through.
You have to follow through.
You're gonna have to follow.

Oh, this is the start of something good.
Don't you agree?

"And you've been so busy lately

2006-03-31T15:39:00.000+08:00

... that you haven't found the time, to open up your mind, and watch the world spinning, gently out of time.." ~ Blur

It was one of those reminders that you really need, but you don't get often enough of, u know? Sometimes you just get too caught up with your own work or issues, that you forget there's a world out there.. To live in..

The past few days have been pretty busy for me, with datelines for projs and what-nots.. Been spending my days in school and reaching home past 11.. I was telling a friend that my mum and I talked more on the phone than in person ha.. It's cos everytime I come home from school I'd be too bummed out to do anything but go straight to my room. So usually she'd like call me arnd 9 plus 10 to ask me abt my schedule for the next day, what time I'd be leaving home, what time I wanna wake up. Weird isn't it? That's one messed-up family relationship I'm telling you, albeit a very amusing one.

In fact, Monday was the 1st in a verrrrrry long time that I reached home when the sun was still up! Haa.. That was super refreshing.. Although I admit I probably wouldn't have done that had my parents NOT drilled into my head that I have to, HAVE to, reach home by 7 because we were expecting some guests and they'd need me to help around the house.

On Monday too on favourite bus 96 I saw a girl in the seat in front of me reading. A story book. Believe me I was probably gazing from behind her at the paragraphs with such loving eyes that if she had turned, she'd IMMEDIATELY close the book and donate it to me cause I'd convinced her enough I need it more than she does.

I really missed reading.

I keep wishing to go to the libr and pick up a book but then I'd tell myself No, I should read my readings/notes/do this that instead and well yea at the end of the day I'd still be doing nothing la I'm really lousy like that.

Anw.. 12 noon today marks the end of the all tests/essays. HURRAH HURRAH.. Stayed up the whole night la stupid man I TOLD myself over and over to start early.. I better learn my lesson soon BECAUSE I SO DO NOT wanna get that splitting headache I got this morning ever again ah.. But at this point in time I'm praying and praying I'd do good for those essays/ tests.. Pls God, I'll be good...

------------

"Guess I'll go for a walk," said Topper. "I'm in need of a bit of a change."
"There'll be roast for dinner”, replied Mrs Topper. “Lamb," she added as
she left the room. "You like lamb."
Mr Topper winced as he collected his hat and stick. Why should he be thus openly reminded that he liked lamb? Couldn’t a person creep up on a roast and surprise it some time? As a matter of fact, he was not particularly lustful for lamb, or at least he would strive hereafter to disassemble his emotions.
But all he said was “Good!” The exclamation point stuck in his throat.
~ Topper- Thorne Smith

(I shall grab a book before exams. :) :) :) )

smiley smiley

2006-03-27T15:02:00.000+08:00

Ok the next time you hear me say the phrase "Let's do it." please, for the love of God, SMACK me.

Because I don't think there ever is, in this world, a more slenger saying.

Especially NOT in the context "*I* used it in.

Apologies to the affected party..

Butttttt, other than that... No regrets!

At least not for now.

As long as the person keeps feeding me.

*grin grin*

Dum dee dum...

Saturday was a good day.....

:D

Ok, smack me TOO if I'm grinning waaaaay too much ok, I don't want to appear as MUSHY and MENYAMPAH-ing as the you-know-whos..

Hee hee.. No offence!

And in reference to my last post, I regret to say that my interest in the 2nd fav person has dwindled and he's now in position #3. This is because of my VERY MEMORABLE, and EXCITING (!!!!) encounter with my tutee's 4 year old brother last friday night, who kissed my shoulder in the middle of my tuition session and then grinned and said "I kissed your shoulder!!" HOW CUTE IS THAT LAR????!!!!!!!

And THEN a while later he came back and KISSED MY HAND!!!!!!!!! *dies*

I was so determined not to wash my hand la for the rest of my life, but alas, being a good muslim, I had to take wudhu' (ablution) for Isyak prayers that VERY night. *big frown*

Hahaa.. Cant wait to see my NEWEST love on Fri!

And when I say "a hundred years", I really mean A HUNDRED YEARS..........

Haha.. At least I hope it'd be. For my sake. *sticks out tongue*

I'll Be..

2006-03-24T15:11:00.000+08:00

This song is dedicated to my 2nd fav person in the world currently (the 1st fav being a 6-year-old boy, refer below), who always sings this song not only SUMBANG-ly (out of tune), but also GASAK-ly (anyhow).

Hopefully, by me including the lyrics below, that person may UP his performance abit.

I'm quite sure the video won't really work- will be a lil jerky here and there. Can't find the audio la, so video also video lar k.. Just to let yall listen. It's nice! Press play and look at the lyrics or read the rest of my post.

Listen, Hafie! Don't be rude! ;D

-----------

(Edwin McCain)

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Chorus:
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

Repeat Chorus

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

Repeat Chorus

love-struck!

2006-03-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

Do you know..

That Singaporeans are generally NOT comfortable with EXCESSIVE eye contact.

THIS IS BECAUSE....
Asians are traditionally brought up to not look at the other person in the eye as a sign of respect. Especially in the presence of someone older or an authority, they are expected to look down.

So DESPITE whatever they tell you in interview courses about eye contact, YES, maintain it, but not ALL THE TIME. And BE SURE to not look as if you're STARING the other person DOWN. It's intimidating to some people. When speaking to someone of a higher position or social role, it may be interpreted as challenging him or her.

I should keep this in mind. I HATE it when people look at me like they want to eat me up like that, YET, I find SO MUCH pleasure in doing the same to people. Haha.. of course most of the time I don't mean to intimidate, but I guess sometimes, just sometimes, I'd like to see if the other person gets affected by the drones of attention I'm directing his/her way. Yes yes.. that's the weird sadistic streak in me acting up again..

ANW... So what's the best way to do it?

Apparently, what you should do is to occasionally look away. Some suggest looking at his eye brows instead of directly at his pupils. I think, looking, interspersed appropriately with nodding and looking down, should be comfortable enough. Don't stare, don't look down all the time (except when u kena scolded by your parents) and don't gaze off into space.

Yup.

Now I shall gush abt the new love of my life!

He's this super super cute 6-year-old boy with flawless white skin and rosy rosy cheeks and smiley, sparkly eyes with eyelashes the length of Nile whom I met at the Meet-the-People session. And he has 2 moles on his nose! How peculiar and totally endearing... Haha..

You know what's the best thing? He spoke to me 1st!!!

He was there with his mum, and while the mum was talking to the interviewer he was just cutely minding his own business when at one point he banged his leg against the table leg or what. Then when he took out his leg and seeing me looking (with much concern) at this cut on his knee, he smiled and said "this one just now one." And from there ensued a conversation I would NOT forget (for the next few weeks).

He went on to explain that he got it at school that day. I asked "pain or not?" and he said "not pain." So I threatened, with a very evil face, to poke it and he was like "pain pain." But after that he himself touched it and clarified "touch soft soft, not pain. Touch hard hard pain." Omigod I swear I wanted to just kidnap him at that point in time his face was blardee cute lar!!! After that we played the game of "threaten to poke-pull away" but our flirting session was rudely cut short when the mum's business with the interviewer was done. *sulks*

I wished I had just taken a pic of him using my handphone. Not like I needed to. I thk his face has forever been engraved in my heart... *hearts in eyes*

Hah!

Babylon

2006-03-14T19:49:00.000+08:00

(David Gray)

Friday night I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Well looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To ever open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule

Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowd I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To show you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made

If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Babylon, Babylon

Sunday all the lights of London
Shining , Sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to
Turning back for home
You know I'm feeling so alone
I can't believe
Climbing on the stair
I turn around to see you smiling there
In front of me

If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now

Babylon, Babylon, Babylon

Bring it on!

2006-03-14T18:25:00.000+08:00

ONE shopping trip to Sun Plaza and suddenly millions of revelations fall down upon me. Ok. Exaggeration. 3. But that's not the point.

The point is, I've been SOOOOO friggin OBLIVIOUS la I just wanna smack myself. Did not realise I've been so out of the picture until this.

Sorry if I never seem to be there.. Or, as one of yall said, "There, but in your own little world, with your laptop." Hahaa.. No internet connection at home what, so school's like HEAVEN- a mad scramble to research for projs, print notes, check email, update this. And it royally sucks that my lunch times are also all filled with tuts or lecs *bleargh*.

But I'm here really, I am. If you feel I'm drifting away then don't let me drift, pull me back in! Sometimes I don't realise. Pull me in and I'll stay.

Hope it wont take another shopping trip to some ulu place for yall to remember I'm alive k.. Haha don't worry, I'll be checking regularly for updates!

To my sms-every-single-mundane-thing friend aka FAAAAA-VOURITE babe in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, I love you and we are SO spending some QUALITY, BONDING (grilling) SESSION together soon. *grin*

Waiting for Fie's story and then it will all feel complete.

Hahah!

My problem is...

2006-03-10T17:23:00.000+08:00

I've excessive excess baggage.

:/

Gravity

2006-03-10T14:22:00.000+08:00

(Embrace)

Honey,
It's been a long time coming,
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running,
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear that sound?
'cause I can't help thinking
And I don't look down

And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh, the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky
And saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone
On everyone

Baby,
It's been a long time waiting,
Such a long, long time
And I can't stop smiling,
No I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
And can you hear that sound?
'cause I can't help crying
And I won't look down

And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh, the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun
And saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I
On you and I

Can you hear my heart beating
Do you hear that sound
'cause I cant help crying
And I wont look down

Hear! Hear!

2006-03-10T13:55:00.000+08:00

On any account, NEVER, enter the lift, with the katak, alone.

No, he wont rape you, God forbid.

But he'd do other funny funny things, that you'd find the lift suddenly halt, then move veeeeerryyy slowwwwly downwards, then stop again. And you'd remain very stuck for the next half hour.

Trust me. I know.

At least you'd get to watch pink panther though.

You make me laugh in the weirdest situations.

:)

The Blower's Daughter

2006-03-01T19:01:00.000+08:00

Okay.

I'm back to melancholy mode. Sorry people.

Haha.. This song is so heartwrenching it paaaains me everytime I hear it. But being the masochistic person that I am, I find myself wanting to hear this song over and over again.. Just feel the pain in his voice lar.. the longing.. the despair.. Gah.

Some stuffs bout the song...

'The blower's daughter' actually refers to the daughter of Damien Rice's clarinet teacher. Notice the line: "the pupil in denial" in the song.

It was the theme song to Closer which was fab in the way it messes up all your pre-conceived ideas of love and trust and infidelity.

It ends with a barely audible "Til I find somebody new". Hmm.. We sorta see this song's about unrequited love.. now about that line.. Was he saying, that the only way he get over the one he loved so much is when he find somebody new? Or was it sorta like 'hey, all's not lost here..' ? *shrug*

He gets away with saying "I can't take my eyes off you" 5 times in a row without sounding corny. ;p

Ok people.. be prepared to have your heart taken away...

------------------------------

(Damien Rice)

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

I Hope I Think I Know

2006-02-23T16:31:00.000+08:00

Ok enough of the depressing song already! Here's one ESPECIALLY IN CONJUCTION WITH THE OASIS CONCERT GOING ON IN ABT 4 HOURS TIME!!!!! To Hafie aka. Fifi who's been there since 12 today and who I accompanied to get personalised own-designed Oasis shirts at queensway yesterday. She owes me bubble tea. *grins* Here's an upbeat dancey no from the bad brothers of rock.

CLICK IT!

-------------

(Oasis)

They're trying hard to put me in my place
And that is why I've gotta keep running
The future is mine and it's no disgrace
Cos in the end the past means nothing
You tell me I'm free then you tie me down
And from my chains I think it's a pity
What did it cost you to wear my crown
You don't like me why don't you admit it

I feel a little down today
I ain't got much to say
You're gonna miss me when I'm not there
And you know I don't care, you know I don't care

As we beg and steal and borrow
Life is hit an miss and this
I Hope, I Think, I Know
And if I ever hear the names you call
If I stumble catch me when I fall
Cos baby after all
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name

You're trying hard to put me in my place
And that is why I've gotta keep running
The future is mine and it's your disgrace
Cos in the end your laugh means nothing

To feel a little down today
But you ain't got much to say
Who's gonna miss you when your not there
You know we don't care, you know we don't care

Cos as we beg and steal and borrow
Life is hit and miss and this
I Hope, I Think, I Know
If I ever hear the names you call
And if I stumble catch me when I fall
Cos baby after all
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name

As we beg and steal and borrow
Life is hit and miss and this
I Hope, I Think, I Know
If I ever hear the names, you call
And if I stumble catch me when I fall
Cos baby after all
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name

Why do pple remain single?

2006-02-23T13:29:00.000+08:00

I've been looking forward to the day I get married since I can remember.

It's the thought of having someone to love you and someone to love, someone to watch tv with and to massage your back after a hard day at work. Someone to cook for and with and to enjoy the whatever product- edible or not a non-consideration- afterwards together. Someone I can watch tickling my children, carrying them if they fall asleep on the sofa to their beds, teaching them how to cycle to swim (esp to swim, not knowing how to swim is a great disadv, I discovered), you get the drift.

I want this someone. And I can't wait to find him.

But when I start to look beyond all these happy images and really think about it, I find myself getting abit scared. I mean, you really can't tell, can you, if that guy is the guy you can live your whole life with.

It's not like there's any 30-days trial period, like it keep it, loathe it get your money (and time and well, virginity) back. And technically, you don't want to go through all the divorce shits cos that's just awful and sad and should be kept strictly as a last LASSSSSTTTT resort (because I really don't see the point of putting up with a relationship that hurts you rather than nourishes you).

So technically, you MUST get the guy 'correct' before you say "Yes! Yes!"

And it's not just about the other person, it's really abt yourself too isn't it?

In the drama Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men when the 3 actors were taking turns giving reasons why "I'm not married" this guy said ".. because I look in the mirror everyday and I can't even stand myself, how to expect another person to stand me?!"

And.. There are so many things that I can't stand about myself, like how I'm better at making kids cry than laugh and how I suck at handling crises and at comforting people cos I never know what to say, how sometimes I get riak, hm, thinking I'm better than someone else even though I am in NO position whatsoever to think that way (don't look at me funny now pple, I dun like me either).

I was thinking the other day, getting someone to like you is hmm, nothing. It's getting them to keep liking. Keep liking you despite discovering and knowing your flaws your weakness. Despite seeing your same face and your same body and day in day out. Despite your skin sagging and your teeth dropping and your hearing going. Now, that's quite hard eh..

Buttttttt.......

I've been reading this blog (I don't know if I'm allowed to but oh well) and one thing that I agree with the author is that spontaneity in r/s is qt envy-worthy.. Like.. To just go on about without worrying whether he'll continue to like you or you, him.. Whether he'll leave you or you, him. I think what we need to focus instead is on making each day that you do have together, happy. You know, make happy memories. If one day it comes to a stop, then stop. And life goes on.

Of course it would be easier said than done. But what I'm trying to say is that, sometimes pple tend to worry so much about the end they don't feel the sweetness of the beginning and all the mighty in-betweens. Or they get too scared to start in the 1st place. Now that can be quite a waste.

In these kinda things, I believe you have to take risks. Calculated risks of course. But you take it, and try as hard as you can to not look back. It won't be easy, and of course you'll still be scared, but hey.. a man without fear is a foolish man.

Anw, when it comes to marriages and all those serious things.. Islam gives us more assurance with the fact that we can solat istikharah.. You do that after you consider all your options carefully, seek advices from those you trust, then you leave it to Him to guide you to the right choice. So rmbr to solat istikharah people before you all decide!

OK, I should probably try to work on my weaknesses, the ones that I know of. In the meantime, I'd need a guy who's good with kids, who'd hold me in times of crises and demonstrate to me the art of consoling/comforting, who'd put me in my place. And of course, one who'd lead me to God's pleasure ( haha.. I have to add that to remind myself).

So I STILL want to get married, and I want to find this keeper-someone. :)

HA!! Sorry to have been going on and on abt marriage.. My bro's getting married la (enganged, actually).. It's the hot topic in my home right now can't escape.. :p

Anywaaaaayyyy.....

Another interesting bit off Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men is how they likened choosing a partner to choosing a sushi from the conveyor belt...

You see 1 sushi which looks really quite good, you're about to pick it up, but
you pause and wonder, what if a better sushi comes along? So you leave it and
wait for the next one to come along. And the next, and the next. But you find
yourself thinking about that 1st sushi and you decide, hey! I want that 1st one.
So now you look and wait for that 1st sushi to come round again. And it did. And
you pick it up, all happy, until you find yourself asking, "How come you're still here?" "Why don't anyone else want you?" "Are you expired?" Then you consider waiting round for another sushi.

Ish. But you do think like that sometimes, don't you.. Haha.. ;)

Btw. Pink Panther was funny laaaaaaaa.... Hahaa.. Better than what I expected like twenty times over. It was a nice end to my hectic soooper tiring kayak-climbing-kayak 2 days. Sorry fav gay fren for my selengeh moments. STOP UNGKIT-ING, OH KAYYYY.... Sheesh. These are the things that make me adorable. *shows adorable face* Ha! *grin grin*

"Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you. "

~ Alex Hitch Hithcens in Hitch

Turn up the sun

2006-02-15T18:24:00.000+08:00

Hello!

It's really mind-numbing adding commas at the the end of close to 1000 email addresses ah.. Maly would know what I'm talking about. Gawd! If only there's a way I can get away from the work..

Anw, in the libr now freezing my ass off because my jacket is with Kamie because her jacket is with Hafie. But it's alright, they're in LT 11 now having the maiden test for the year 2006, Nation-Building. They mugged really hard for it lar I'm telling yall.. Everyday see them in the libr reading the same stuffs different titles only (readings). All the best!!! Of course Kamie is gonna do especially well, considering some of my luck stuck to my jacket's probably gonna get rubbed off onto her.. Heheh..

I'm also having Stats test this fri morn at friggin 8 la! And to think the night before I'll be out rendezvousing with dear Shad at an 8pm show at the spanking new NLB's Drama Centre heheh... Can't wait for the drama "Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men", yes Shad, our fav topic indeed. Hope there are 300 men, really. Hot ones. Then can 'wash eyes' (cuci mata lar!).. Yea.. In need of some nice new scenery after days of looking at a certain green face with webbed hands which makes loud unruly belching 'ribbit!' noises. ;p

Abt to my stats test, still got 2.5 chps to cover. Hais...

Yesterday in conjunction with Vday (which Muslims aren't supposed to celebrate anw. oops.) I smsed several of the nj classmates. Got a range of varied replies man, I mean, from those who bothered, in the 1st place. 1 complained of having debate all the way til 11.30, 1 was so desperately lonely he asked me for referrals (I told him my friends are the non-sacrificial sort), 1 said "what's so happy about it?" and claimed he can't rmbr the last time he was really happy ( :( ), another reminised about our brownies-baking days and whined of the endless mugging, and etc etc.. Haa.. Looks like life hasn't been too friendly to us eh.. Well, heads up.. Bright days coming soon.. I'm missing the 03s21 peeps ler.. Must be that tag from Stephen.

Oh. A pic from an outing last year....

That's eemin, jia en, aqilah, moi and preethi. After swensens at PS. Yum.

Ok la.. Should get back to work b4 the nation building pple get back. See yall!

Fake Plastic Trees

2006-02-08T19:35:00.000+08:00

(Radiohead)

Her Green plastic watering can
For her fake chinese rubber plant
In fake plastic earth.
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans.
to get rid of itself.
And It Wears Her Out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out.

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns.
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins.
And It Wears Him Out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him out.

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My Fake Plastic Love.
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run
And It Wears Me Out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out.

And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted,
All the time, all the time, ohhh... ohh...

--------------------

After the past few upbeat drummy songs, here's a more melancholic one.

From Radiohead's The Bends. (If this acoustic version scares you, get the album one. from me. haha..)

Happy.. Sha la la.. It's so nice to be Happy..

2006-02-07T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hello hello..

It's not fair that you guys complain I don't update my blog when you guys DON'T, EITHER. Ish. Everytime I go online I'm greeted by the same words.. BO-RINGGGGGGG.... At least I got excuse ohkay..

I'm now in northpoint macs wasting my time because I dint get the emails I was supposed to receive then in the end I was told I need not do the IAP poster after all.. Ha! But there's still the CS3 Booth poster to be done.. So... My job is far from done.

Anw, Monday was a blast lar.. It started out pretty mendak because I spent 21 bucks on taxi fare. So late then still got jam YET I was still nice enough to send my bro 1st. Hee.. Adik mithali lar katakan..

Isk crashed NUS and accompanied me for English lec and we talked and talked but I was good enough to catch what the lecturer was going on abt (we paused when she was going thru the exercises, we're obedient like that). Ha.. The funny thing was I was SO self-conscious la walking around school with him.. That to every single person we met I would like make sure I intro "this is Isk, my COUSIN." Haha.. Comic la.. So.. NUS pple.. Don't get the wrong idea eh.. Hahah!

The dinner was crappy... GREAT crappy. 1st, Shad and Hafie was SO LATE la... I was DYING in hunger.. But I understand Shad went to get the cake so I'm touched. :) Me and maly also had a nice talk, haa haven't spent quality time with her for so long!

They gave me 7 presents, to represent:

the 7 of us in eminence
the 7th year of friendship (I must admit I dint realise this earlier)
a certain no. 7 (u know I know)
hafie's fav no (I agree fie, NO LINK! but since you're my lover and all..........)
7-TEEN days left to THE concert. ;P

The wonderful scrapbook painstakingly made. Not for the pregnant ("takut terkenan").

Spoil MYself kit from Maly, I tried the pink eye thingy already.. Shiok... :)

X & Y from Hafie. For an anti-Coldplay, she's certainly feeding my lust for them. She got me a Coldplay calendar too! I bet she loves them secretly....heheh..

The watch, which I so need. Waiting for it to start ticking..

Ticket to Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men!! Courtesy of the Twin!!! Yeay!!! Can't wait for the date lar...

The melting nutella cake.. Hmm.. Yummy.. Tho after cutting it looked pretty gross.. :g

4/7 of Eminence.. With Maly finishing off Hafie's mee goreng. Ish. Gelojoh! (kidding!)

I was super super touched. Thanks babes.

To tell yall the truth, I did anticipate the arrival of the other budaks-budaks. Becaaaause.. (in chronological order)

Fadz told me dinner at New York Pizza macam takder orang nak pergi ajer..
Mukmin said "see you later"
I asked Md Noor where's my present and he said "relek ah.."
I asked Zahzah if she's going for the dinner on tues and she asked "Hari ni kan?"

So yea.. I was actually surprised that the 3 eminence pple started giving me the presents cos I was expecting the bebudaks to come celebrate sekali. It was at this point that I thought, maybe I got it wrong, they aren't coming. Haha! Of course I was happy when kamie nadiah muk md noor wan and fazli showed up after all..

Muk, Fazli, Md Noor and Wan.

Me and the best madu and SS partner, Nadiah

Me and the other Twin.

mr Kental demonstrating his kental-ness.

Posing outside Fongseng with mr Sungguh (tak) Hot.

The lovely bracelet and card these pple got me. I love bracelets you know.. Haha..

Super fab jacket and CD too.. Full of funny UNTRUE shits la.. *grins*

I was surprised that Fazli jonet was there tho! Ha.. That was qt nice of him. And nadiah too! But disappointed that my gd fren Fadz wasn't and neither was fellow northern knight Nazri.. :( As long as you guys DID think of me (u BETTER) it's ok..... Dint expect Shan to be there so I guess if a certain somebody hadn't mentioned his name I really WOULD have been surprised. Katak, haha.. well... Haha.. He wouldn't wanna miss out on the excitement in any way, so yea, it was a given. *grins*

On a different note, isn't it amazing how we've all only just met, (well, within such short months is a "just" to me) yet I think all of us feel like we've known each other since forever.. It's the way that we talk, we joke, we trust, and the way we try to move forward for the better (4.0 and BEYONDDD), always for the better, together.. I'm very grateful to have met yall and Insya Allah, our friendships are blessed by Him.

And, well, now that I'm a lil older ("Welcome to Club 20's," Wan says), I guess it's high time for me to seriously make efforts to improve myself for the better. I received lotsa Doa's in pple's wishes I get, reminding me to 'pertingkatkan keimanan dan ketaqwaan' and to remember Him, since He always remembers me. It's not qt so easy, I must say.. I've always found it difficult to choose what I should do over what I want to do. But I guess that's a Jihad in itself isn't it? A struggle in its own right. MY struggle.

May Allah guide me through this, Insya Allah.

To more great days with you all.. and you.

lookie here...

2006-01-27T18:45:00.000+08:00

"Associate Defaming Orientations Regarding Establishments" eh... ha! ;g

The Space Between

2006-01-27T13:25:00.000+08:00

Dave Matthew's Band

You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love

The space between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more
The space between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
We waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild-eyed beast you be
The space between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down

The space between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The space between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into your room
The space between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here

The space between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The space between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The space between...

---------------------------

I discovered this song from an MTV Award show or something, they were performing live. It is VERY rare for me to catch a song sang live and like it ah but I fell in LOVE in this ah.. I think the music is fab, listen out for the guitar and drums ah.. And the play with rhythm, fast, slow, heavy drumming, soft. Ah, love it. Enjoy!

Let's... Let's stay together....

2006-01-27T10:14:00.000+08:00

My mother is convinced that some mat nama Dean is coming to masuk meminang me because of some dream. Every now and then when she's talking to me she'd add, macam mana Dean? I think.. she's been watching too much Haryati (which has 2 Din's). Coupled with Mencari Mimpi (Dean = Hans Isaac, now this is a Dean I don't mind marrying). I think she's scared I'd suddenly declare to her I wanna get married, she's preparing herself. Ha! Well, she doesn't have to worry..

I've decided that school aint that bad. Must be the people.

OH my friend Kak Huda commented that she can't imagine me as a Social Worker THIS GOES OUT TO EVERYBODY WHO THINKS I'M FRIENDLY yup I agree whole-heartedly I can't imagine so myself.

It's different la, being naturally friendly and trying to be so, because of circumstances or what. Sometimes I really am the sorta person who prefers to hide in large groups so I won't feel obliged to talk, there are others to do all the talking.. And I don't like people to expect me to initiate conversations, it works both ways la, you don't talk I wont talk. Sometimes I don't feel the need to talk at all.. Silence can be comforting too..

My internet connection is down (my fault, I tried to godeh-godeh, aksyen pandai nak reconfigure my wireless connection, now can't even use LAN), so if you've been missing seeing my nick on msn, my sympathies out to you, but I really can't do much about it.

Be rest assured though that the feeling is mutual really.

I miss my twin ( my real one, not you, kamie). Can't wait for our date.. I miss seeing her name in my inbox la, always the 1st one I click on, and getting excited to write to her, like for pages and pages and choosing a song line to end the mail with.

I miss ISK ISK ISK!!! Who's back yesterday after 3-days field camp and whom I'm forever supposed to meet up with but always last min kena cancel.. Sorry isk.. Pls don't hate me. I still want my birthday present. HAHAA.. We need to go to esplanade and boat quay and all our other favourite places in the world. And I got you something so WE NEED TO MEET THIS WEEKEND! Or I might just decide to keep it for myself. MUAHAHA.

I kinda miss talking to selengeh and hearing funny funny stories. It's so hard to find opp to talk to you lar that it's both weird and funny. Who asked you to be so famous? When you gonna sing???

I miss khatib gang- muk and fadz.. Ha.. korang gi sekolah bad timings la.. Tomorrow to bedok libr TOTALLY must go together lar... EHHH haha fadz just entered libr and sitting in front of me now hee! Oh but he ignored me sey when I SO excitedly waved at him. I'm MORTIFIED now at his lack of love. Go away fadz.

And fh. My babe-watch partner. I like your hair..

I don't miss hafie whom I see almost everyday and kamie too. Haha!

And a certain badak who really is intensifying my lesbo tendencies more than anything.

Off to lunch! With my non-missed pple.