Monday, December 26, 2005
Goodbye, english rose...
Alrightey... Just a quickie..
Going off in approx 8h time, but still need to get socks, stokins, contacts, shampoo, sb and if possible, a haircut.
I'm gonna miss the pple here, possibly my parents included. Haha.. kidding. Just that I'm kinda used to being away from them, because I'm forever like going off for ledang or to kl with my aunt.. But I'll miss msn.. and my bed.. my
PHONE.. Haha..
I think for 1 thing I'm looking fwd to this trip to clear my mind also.. Like Shad said, I too need some time to be with myself.. To do some much-needed thinking that I've conveniently put off all these while..
And ok I take back what I said in the previous post.. I'm not like SOOOOO crazy abt marriage lar... Stop being disgusted with me ok fuhan... I read what you said in your blog.. Hahaa... But lucky for me I have yet to dream up my perfect wedding or I'll get more blastings from you... And you wont get a divorce lar ok you'd be too lazy to go through the whole process.. Besides, you're too lovable. :) And I don't like pple to dab-dab their fries on tissue 1st lar.. How disgusting *glares at nadiah*.. hahaa...
Ok I wanna go offline now and START packing but like all of u all are here!! Kamie, Hafie, Shaf, Muk... You all ar... You're the death of me (ala chinese serials subtitles..) !
See yall after 2nd jan!!
Remember to send me welcome back greetings!!! I wanna like on my hp and get like beribu (thousands of) pending msges... That would be nice.. :)
Adios salamos!
iFLEW @ 12:29:00 pm
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Sway -Bic Runga
Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practicing your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infinitely true
[CHORUS:]
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
[CHORUS TWICE]
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
Now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon
It's time to tell you why, I say it's infinitely true
[CHORUS TWICE]
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
-------------
Hahaaa... Another Sway song, only this, is an olllld favourite. I never get sick of it for some reason, and for some reason I find this song to be always so relevant.
iFLEW @ 3:16:00 am
Saturday, December 24, 2005
I'm missing Ocean's 11 now..
JUST because my friends are missing me and would die and beg for me to update.
Kidding. ;P
Nothing much happened. Ok, I take that back, quite a LOT happened, nothing much that I actually feel like sharing here. But I do have qt a bit to say.. Random random things..
I do not like people threatening to commit suicide. There is more to life than whatever it is that may be bugging us at the mo, just hold the faith la, trust Him. There must be a hikmah behind everything that happens. I think the easiest way to find solace is in our prayers, tak kira in solat or in doa.. Talk to Him, He is the only one that truly hears and that can truly help. The rest of us are just human, beb.. It's not worth it losing your life over one of us..
Cerpen is like 5/6th over. (Gosh, it's NEVER gonna end is it..) Little bits of thgs left to do, like reports, appreciation letters, claiming of $$.. and post mortem.
Prize presentation was last night at Taman Warisan Melayu. And despite having no guest of honour and no guests and no media coverage, it went pretty well (if we close one eye and pretend we
meant it to be a small scale affair).. Hahaa.. No lar, it was honestly nice. The whole ambience (am I using this word correctly?).. The feel.. The food.. I'm so damn grateful to Ilsa lar for doing the tarian for us. It was superb man, prob the highlight of the whole evening.. Hmm.. besides the part when Kamal went onstage la to wakil Big, the
real winner who could not come, and like waved and posed with the judge. Tak tau malu langsung sey. .
Thanks to JK also for the support they gave, and the raya ball pple who posed as crowd, couldn't have done it without u all man, *winks*. Hahaa..
I love the cerpen comm.
And the log guys who added to the vibrancy of the event with their cam whoring antics.
Oh, the cerpen comm got me a mug that says to NURUL
the cute!! Haha.. Totally! (no I did NOT omit anything ;) )
I missed kamie and maly, now tt kamie is back, YEAY to the MAX!! But I still miss Maly...
I missed Shad too when she was away. It sucks not having your twin arnd.. Glad she had fun and at long last is back. And touched abt the whole rushing back bcos of cerpen and abt the mug. Love u shad.. Haha..
My results were not fab, but it's ok, Alhamdulillah.. I actually dreamt that I got BBDDD and was freaked to death to check if not for fadzli.. Gotta improve. InsyaAllah, with all the pple arnd me- fie maly kamie, the balik gang, better results next sem!
Speaking of the balik gang, the yr 1 guys- muk fadz md noor wan naz fazli botak etc etc- are really starting to grow on me.. Diorang perasan tapi sensitip jugak eh.. Bagus bagus.. Amalkan..
3j is next mon until 2nd jan and I haven't packed and a part of me is excited because this is the 1st time I get to go to msia family-less where it's not ledang, but another part of me dreads it because I'VE GOT NO GIRL FRIEND... :(
My sis (and her fam) saw me and isk at TM Macs just now. I hope she doesn't tell..
I think my satellite is finally picking up some signals.. Still staticky for now.. But exciting enough!
I love twix. Get for me more twix.
I went for a wedding last Sunday at bukit batok where they had food catering. And you'd just die looking at the food. So much! and so much variety! All labelled! Ok imagine an opened square, so 3 sides right..
The 1st side, half of it was like briyani and the dishes that went with it like dalcah, prawn masala, etc, then after that was Chinese Cuisine then there was Western Cuisine with like mashed potatoes, chicken chops and stfs..
At the corner there was beef satay complete with the kuah and bawang mentah and ketupat etc. Then it meets the 2nd side, which had laksa and all the millions of toppings to go with it, then nasi putih and my fav lauks like sambal goreng pengantin, lemak ayam cili padi, and sambal sotong (yum..), then the 3rd side was simply 10 more different lauks.
In the centre of this square were 3 dispensers of different cold drinks ( I dint look at what flavours because of cough), 2 hot water dispensers with a selection of tea and coffee, and this whole island of kuihs and cakes like eclairs, marble nutella, puffs.. Then there was jelly cocktail and bubur durian, and a gazilion fruits. And there was this whole bottle of candies, like Twix! I love Twix.
Pakkal ajer I was coughing lar, if not I would have finished off the whole place.
I want my wedding makan-makan to be like this. I want to be rich so that I can afford sucha nice, hassle/worry-free wedding for my parents. So all they have to do is talk to guests and be happy and be assured that the guests had a great meal.
This is just talking abt food eh. Buttttt.. My family is keen on me and my bro getting married on the same day to save costs. Hahaa.... See how lar.. Gosh, I wanna get married so bad I thk someone should lempang me and tell me to get a life. :)
Ok. Enough rubbish.
Merry Xmas everyone.
Ps: Haha.. I've managed to psycho isk and hatta into liking the sway song!! yeay!! but I'm gonna chg it tonight. Look out!
iFLEW @ 11:58:00 pm
Friday, December 16, 2005
You never asked!
No change, I can't change I can't change, I can't change. But I'm here in my mould, I am here in my mould. And I'm a million different people from one day to the next, I can't change my mould. No, no, no, no, no
``Bittersweet Symphony `The Verve
Spent the whole of yesterday with cerpen people. Oh god, I need some new friends. *Grins* Kidding. Had a meeting at Swensen's PS and Shad and I decided to show our gratitude to the pple by treating some ice cream. It's not that we were
sengket and only wanted to spend on a regular earthquake for yall, we had your welfare in mind. Baru makan, perut mesti dah penuh. Nanti ice cream banyak sangat terkeluar balik semua tu, hah, lagi teruk kan. Lagi pun, makan ice cream banyak sangat tak bagus untuk kesihatan. Satu sudu tu ada beratus calories tau.. (Heheh..) Hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. :)
After the meeting, lover, katak and b1 went to watch king kong!!! At the same time making me cancel 2 very important appointments! 1st is dinner with cikgu fuad and mirriam, and another is Isk's turn op parade!! Gosh I felt so guilty!! Especially when I remember Isk telling me I could be the one who pinned the badge on him since his parents aren't coming. Ok, so Sufirah and Aishah, his good friends were there, but the fact that I promised him I'd come then did not just made me feel so so awful.. Sorry Isk.. You know you're my favourite cousin. I'll make it up to you k.. Ish. All because of King Kong. But the company was good and fun. So mismatched, in a sense, who would have thought! We were crazy and we ate a lot (yummy kebabs courtesy of katak) and drank water from the toilet (haha I love making things sound more crude than they actually are). And we took a lot of
(prasantan) photos! OH King Kong, was also, surprisingly enjoyable. And funny. Quite worth going to the cinemas to catch it lar. Go, go..
Somehow this reminds me, dinner with shad, fie and maly was definitely the best outing I've had in a while.. It was just so happy! And crazy and full of laughter.. Read Maly's and Hafie's blog to find out more, but yea, Maly and her tak senonoh, Shad and her extra extra poses (just look at the photos, I'm not kidding, she was CRAZY that day, and the title of this post is courtesy of her) and hafie, irritating me to such an extent that I refused to talk to her and asked her to talk to my bahu instead. Lotsa photos too! Check out link under my tagboard. Gah, I wanna get my own camera.
Cerpen was great. I think. Haha.. Despite the many times in the day when I just wanted to like stone and not think about what to do, what needs to be done, what must we prepare next. Sorry if I looked abit stressed or what, as maly pointed out, my closer friends would have known to differentiate when my 'muka stress' is in fact equals to stress or it's just me being slenger. Thanks for your concern. In the many ways that you guys showed it.
Probably what I loved most about the event is how, at the end of the day, there was so much bonding. It was similar to the end of a camp- there was an exhange of email addresses, See ya on the 23rd!'s and of course.. photos and lots of posing. I tried my best to have a conversation with each of the participants and I'm glad I did; they are some very interesting people.
This girl with the most interesting name Isra has the most beautiful handwriting that just compels you to read it. I loved watching her write too.. She practically ignored all the noise that we were making, not to mention the blazing heat, especially when in the gallery, as she filled lines after lines of the papers in front of her, occasionally pushing stragglers of hair that had escaped from behind her ears back.
There were 2 girls who went everywhere together and one, Aini Azidah, always had her camera in hand or around her neck. They'd take walks around the place and I wonder if they were seeing things in the taman warisan that I, in my busy-ness or plain ignorance, overlooked. They are from NJ and I guess, I was kinda proud of them. I see this batch of perbayu juniors going somewhere man.. They'd be significant and they'd leave their mark.
Another junior (that baba loves) is Salihin, this tall, gangly boy in specs, serious outlook and deep voice. We'd see him walking back and forth or round and round the courtyard with subtle hand movements that probably are very very essential in his thinking, or musing, process. He has this quiet charming quality that reminds me of hanif from nj (and baba of herman) and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that he'd be directing the nj drama production (our 1st in a very long time, if ever) coming out in feb. As his friend informed me of this he gave a bashful but very delightful smile which made me triple sure that I'd NOT miss this production even if it cost me my life.
Izwan from IJ also impressed me with his megawatt smile. That was all I saw from him- that smile. It was as if his face is nothing but that and it's not tiresome to look at it at all; in fact I looked forward to exchanging some words with him. The welfare party agreed that he was probably the best participant because he well, minded his own business. Haha.. He was outside most of the time, either on the phone or writing away, lost in his own world. What drives these young people like him to join such a competition that most pple his age, mine, or rather, in this generation would merely scoff at and not think twice about. Cerpen writing man.. I can't help but feel envious and embarrassed at my own apparent lack of interest.
There were many other interesting pple but of course if I write abt all of them you'd probably point the cursor to the right-hand cornermost of this window straightaway.. I loved the feeling going away from cerpen. Like a sense of accomplishment, and happiness, and an entranched love of the pple who were there- comm, pax, the welfare party.. Loved the bridge and the lame jokes and the oasis-singalong session and the Alphabet game and the meals together. Etc etc. :)
-----------------------
Found this on ee min's blog..
"Before I leave, I hand my professor a present, a tan briefcase with his initials on the front. I bought this the day before at a shopping mall. I didn't want to forget him. Maybe I didn't want him to forget me." (Tuesdays with Morrie)
I realised that about me for a while already. Perhaps that explains the gifts I got for the bfs before and especially after they become exes. Carefully and meticulously pondered upon, chosen, then reviewed, so they'd have a certain significance, be of a certain reminder, just so they'd shout "NURUL!" from every surface, corner or crevice, at every touch every sight. And this done with every intention.
For a while it bugged me that I needed to be remembered so badly. Was it insecurity? The fear that I would not stand out from the rest of his past- just one of them, that I never made a difference, that my presence or non-presence never mattered. Who'd want this, to be lost? So in attempt of a prevention or perhaps, a remedy, this was part of my mission to BE SIGNIFICANT.
Then again, was it essentially cruelty.. That I knew I have been different, somewhat. That I would mean something. And these gifts that poignantly scream my name are really my way of saying, You got me, then you lost me, as I imagine them to pause at some point in time and, well, miss me.
Rather selfish, I agree. And I regret that. But as ee min and I were discussing, how difficult it is to change. To do something out of pure plain sincerity without any hidden agenda. As I think of this I wonder, if I'll ever grow up.
Happy birthday, Sha. I'll sms you later, as you know I would.
iFLEW @ 11:44:00 am
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Ok I found this at a friend's blog and I fell in luurve with the lyrics. What you can do is... Listen to the Sway audio FIRST, den after u love that song, come play this. :D
ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS
"21 Things I Want In A Lover"
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow
Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...
iFLEW @ 3:14:00 am
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
And I ran. Literally.
With Kamie!!!!! Can you all believe it... She came all the way from her house in Jupiter Road to Yishun stadium, for ME!!! And no prizes for guessing who was late. I KNOW. I should be shot, sorry kamie.. This Friday we're going to Macritchie to run some more!! How exciting.. Not only that, we're going to take the tree top trail!!! Woohoo!! I've been DYING to find someone who'll take that with me, and at long last.
Kamie has GOT to be my new twin. She loves pink, she loves the same kinda songs as I do, and we share the same problem (thighs)!!
Move over, Shad, the ex-twin. Sorry, I still love you but maybe you and I need some time apart to miss each other abit.. Kidding!!!
Don't go away Shad, I need you. Ok I'm terribly digressing and, I sound so bimbotic. Sorry! So any of you lazy bears wanna join us? Cmon!!
8.30am at kamie's place. Don't be lazy!!!
Anyway, we ran 6 rounds.
Gosh, My jantung macam nak pecah! I dint think I could make it. But we did.. That was only the 2nd time I ran this year, the 1st was with Fuhan at school.. That was nice too.. I had a taste (feel) of Kamie's sinful Body Shop passionfruit shower gel, gosh it was soo good. Total indulgence. I'm gonna get myself a Body shop shower gel sthg too. Then Kamie had a funny accident (she'd kill me if I tell it here, or anywhere for that matter). After that we said Hi to the boys at the indoor stadium- Mat Noor, Fadzli, Mukmin, Nazri- and girl, also my name sake, Nurul Huda. They were playing badminton. (oh, and mukmin just called, apparently hafihz motor is treating all of them to pizza hut for lunch!!! Kamie!! We should have stayed!!) After that we had McDONALD's BREAKFAST (at least! no pizza hut, macs pun ok jugak perr..). What a perfect way to round the morning up. I had fun. Thanks Kamie!!
Hmm, I quite miss the stadium.. It holds some pretty nice and weird memories.. In J1, was there with rahman alot but I was really lousy then and I would run like 4 rounds then complain of stitches and leave rahman to himself as I tak-malu-ly walk back to the grand stand. Ish. After the run we'd like take a walk around, compare strides (his 2-strides is equals to my 3, maybe 3.4. What?! He's like 1.82 or sthg, that giant.) and he'd teach me some work outs to tone my arms or legs.. And after all that work, we'd go eat prata! or macs. Hahah!
Tak guna langsung! Then rahman got strong and I don't think I should even bother running with him; he'd have finished 6 rounds and I would have done only 2.. Anw, his gf would kill me. :P
With no-rahman my runs there were alil more leisurely and relaxed.. I'd breathe in through nose-breathe out through mouth. I'd open my strides (or not, depends on how fit I am at the moment). I'd feel the wind. I'd look forward to each bend in the tracks. I'd look to the centre line of the soccer field as a marker. I'd listen to Power 98 and laugh to myself or make myself finish 1.5 round through each 4-minute song. I'd think about things, about what to say, who to say it to, when. I'd think about b. I'd look at guys at the stands and correct my posture to simulate a baywatch babe. I'd run through the rain. Man, I miss all that.
Gotta get back into routine. Anw....
It's my parents anniversary today!!! Their 36th! This morning at breakfast I salamed them and said "Selamat Pengantin Baru!" and my mum said "Belum lagi!! Pukul 9.30!" Apparently that was the time they got nikah-ed. As I was busy rushing around the house getting my stuffs together, they were just sitting at the dining table recollecting about what happened that day, each interjecting the other at points where one recalled more and where the other missed out some (random, insignificant, yet somehow important) detail. And they kept laughing.
I wanna laugh too. Alot alot with the husband. I want to love him even when he's old and flabby. And him to touch my hair and smile even when it's white, or gone.
InsyaAllah.. InsyaAllah I'll have a happy marriage and InsyaAllah that my parents will laugh til the end of time and in akhirat, together.
I realised it's quite nice to just sit (lie) here and type away.. Reminds me of all the emails that I would compose to Shad.. Why do we write? What issit abit the things that we consciously put down in words rather than just leave, swimming in our brains or heart or some inner depths? Why do we want to make permanent of them?
Still so many things to say! Abt Cerpen (Alhamdulillah it's over, and I'm pretty darn proud of it :) ) and abt dinner 2 nights ago with Maly! Some other time; I've got to get my butt down to town now to catch suriana before she flies off to Aceh tmr. But here are
dinner photos!
Anw... I still love this Sway song la... thanks Kamie to infinity. :)
Play it and look at the lyrics below.
iFLEW @ 12:25:00 pm
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Sway
(Klüft/Perishers)
I talk to you as to a friend
I hope that’s what you’ve
come to be
It feels as though we’ve
made amends
Like we found a way
eventually
It was you who picked
the pieces up
When I was a broken soul
And then glued me
back together
Returned to me what
others stole
I don’t wanna hurt you
I don’t wanna make you sway
Like I know I’ve done before
I will not do it anymore
I’ve always been a dreamer
I've had my head among
the clouds
Now that I’m coming down
Won’t you be my solid ground?
I look at you and see a friend
I hope that’s what you wanna be
Are we back now where
it all began?
Have you finally forgiven me?
You gathered my dreams in
When they all blew away
And then tricked them
back into me
You saved me I was
almost dead
Thanks to kamie for introducing this song to me... I can never thank her enough.. Feel your heart slipping away down as you listen to it... Gives you the same sorta sensation as the scientist or embrace's gravity. I love it.
I realised I'm good at 2 things.
1. Ignoring. A Queen. I hate to be in confrontational situations. I rather let things slip by and seemingly go unnoticed rather than pick at it. It's not really good, really. Though it does save me from unnecessary quarrels or disagreements. All the times I get jealous, or upset, or frustrated. As much as I want to bring it up, let you know, whine, complain, scold, somehow what I'd end up doing is just pretend like nothing ever happened and that life is good and you and I are good. Hypocrite I am not, perhaps, just cowardly.
iFLEW @ 3:03:00 am
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I'm still alright, I can smile..
hey hey.. upon popular request, I'm back!!
Hahaa tak sangka fie.. you miss me.. Sorry.. the internet at home got cranky and at sucha bad timing;
it's just TWO days away from CERPEN!!!!!!!!!!! Hmm.. So right now I'm sitting at the com centre bus stop typing away like nobody's business, hahaa.. on the way to buona vista. Had to make an urgent drop at school because MY BROTHER wants me to email him sthg... tsk. Haha... I'm making him sound like such a bother eh, padahal he wants me to email him the cerpen publicity poster so he can fwd arnd.. Hee.. terhutang budi sey..
Anw.. yes... Cerpen is coming soon.. participants are trickling in ever soooo slooowly.. BUT,
i LuRRRRRRVEEE my team!!!! They are the coolest!!! and i'm not the only one who says that!!! Just yesterday Mateen (yes.. the scary orang giler guy from FOC), when he was msging abt dropping off food at yih for our event, included,
"I've only heard glowin comments bout the cerpen 24 jam commitee so credit ... to you guys! :) " Hahaaa... That coming from V-pres of PBMUKS k... dun pray pray.. hahaha...
Well, I thk the team is great too. Efficient and haha never-say die. We got a lot of shits thrown our way ah but we're still going strong.. Really appreciate them alot, esp part skarang ni, I'm all sick and everything, so was totally depending on them alot to get things done and they're all so supportive!! Hmm, and they are funny giler too.. wat with the pyjama party and dimensions all...
So.... From the bottom of my heart...
THANK YOUShad sha,
Hafie oasis,
Hafizah Zahzah,
Nadiah,
Baba Spongebob,
Mukmin sirap,
Kak Siti,
and last but not least,
Kak Mal..Lurve yall. :)
Here we go!
iFLEW @ 4:07:00 pm
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Roll with it
``the last song `the all-american rejects
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope that
you will miss me when I am gone
My friend told me to look at friendship/relationship like a glass partly-filled with water.
No this is not the typical story, listen.
The water represents memories you've gained and collected throughout the relationship- good, bad, mostly good..
Where the water stops is the point of end of the relationship.
The non-filled empty part represents all the what-ifs, the unknown, undiscovered possible futures.
Well basically at the end of the relationship you could let yourself get caught up regretting the "premature"-or-not end, imagining about all that "could have" happened had it continued, all the "losses". Essentially, these regrets and thoughts are based on 1 thing- air. Empty empty air.
We could , on the other hand, look back to the water and think about all the good times- the memories, and cherish whatever we had out of it.
At the end of the r/s, we choose. To look to the empty part we'd be wondering/regretting, to the filled part we'd smile. Chances are, you'll be a much happier person if you choose the latter.
Besides thaaat.....
Me, Shad and Fie ("The 3 Stooges", Katak calls) went to Secret Recipe today!!! Ate ate ate til the flabs runneth over (the waist of my skirt). Tom Yam spaghetti was delish, who would have thought? And the cakes, marble cheese, White Choc Macadamia and Banana Chocolate were gorgeous and tasted fab (Your saliva running yet, Kamie?). I had to, hmm, clear my bowels, before I could walk properly after that. Over-estimated the size of my stomach once again.
Btw, check out the US version of the Coldplay's Trouble vid. Good stuff.
All down, cerpen to go..
iFLEW @ 10:34:00 pm
