Thursday, February 23, 2006
I Hope I Think I Know
Ok enough of the depressing song already! Here's one ESPECIALLY IN CONJUCTION WITH THE OASIS CONCERT GOING ON IN ABT 4 HOURS TIME!!!!! To Hafie aka. Fifi who's been there since 12 today and who I accompanied to get personalised own-designed Oasis shirts at queensway yesterday. She owes me bubble tea. *grins* Here's an upbeat dancey no from the bad brothers of rock.
CLICK IT!
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(Oasis)
They're trying hard to put me in my place
And that is why I've gotta keep running
The future is mine and it's no disgrace
Cos in the end the past means nothing
You tell me I'm free then you tie me down
And from my chains I think it's a pity
What did it cost you to wear my crown
You don't like me why don't you admit it
I feel a little down today
I ain't got much to say
You're gonna miss me when I'm not there
And you know I don't care, you know I don't care
As we beg and steal and borrow
Life is hit an miss and this
I Hope, I Think, I Know
And if I ever hear the names you call
If I stumble catch me when I fall
Cos baby after all
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You're trying hard to put me in my place
And that is why I've gotta keep running
The future is mine and it's your disgrace
Cos in the end your laugh means nothing
To feel a little down today
But you ain't got much to say
Who's gonna miss you when your not there
You know we don't care, you know we don't care
Cos as we beg and steal and borrow
Life is hit and miss and this
I Hope, I Think, I Know
If I ever hear the names you call
And if I stumble catch me when I fall
Cos baby after all
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
As we beg and steal and borrow
Life is hit and miss and this
I Hope, I Think, I Know
If I ever hear the names, you call
And if I stumble catch me when I fall
Cos baby after all
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
You'll never forget my name
iFLEW @ 4:31:00 pm
Why do pple remain single?
I've been looking forward to the day I get married since I can remember.
It's the thought of having someone to love you and someone to love, someone to watch tv with and to massage your back after a hard day at work. Someone to cook for and with and to enjoy the whatever product- edible or not a non-consideration- afterwards together. Someone I can watch tickling my children, carrying them if they fall asleep on the sofa to their beds, teaching them how to cycle to swim (esp to swim, not knowing how to swim is a great disadv, I discovered), you get the drift.
I want this someone. And I can't wait to find him.
But when I start to look beyond all these happy images and
really think about it, I find myself getting abit scared. I mean, you really can't tell, can you, if that guy is
the guy you
can live your whole life with.
It's not like there's any 30-days trial period, like it keep it, loathe it get your money (and time and well, virginity) back. And technically, you
don't want to go through all the divorce shits cos that's just awful and sad and should be kept strictly as a last LASSSSSTTTT resort (because I really don't see the point of putting up with a relationship that hurts you rather than nourishes you).
So technically, you MUST get the guy 'correct' before you say "Yes! Yes!"
And it's not just about the
other person, it's really abt yourself too isn't it?
In the drama Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men when the 3 actors were taking turns giving reasons why "I'm not married" this guy said ".. because I look in the mirror everyday and I can't even stand myself, how to expect another person to stand me?!"
And.. There are so many things that I can't stand about myself, like how I'm better at making kids cry than laugh and how I suck at handling crises and at comforting people cos I
never know what to say, how sometimes I get riak, hm, thinking I'm better than someone else even though I am in NO position whatsoever to think that way (don't look at me funny now pple, I dun like me either).
I was thinking the other day,
getting someone to like you is hmm, nothing. It's getting them to
keep liking. Keep liking you despite discovering and knowing your flaws your weakness. Despite seeing your same face and your same body and day in day out. Despite your skin sagging and your teeth dropping and your hearing going. Now, that's quite hard eh..
Buttttttt.......
I've been reading this blog (I don't know if I'm allowed to but oh well) and one thing that I agree with the author is that spontaneity in r/s is qt envy-worthy.. Like.. To just go on about without worrying whether he'll continue to like you or you, him.. Whether he'll leave you or you, him. I think what we need to focus instead is on making each day that you do have together, happy. You know, make happy memories. If one day it comes to a stop, then stop. And life goes on.
Of course it would be easier said than done. But what I'm trying to say is that, sometimes pple tend to worry so much about the end they don't feel the sweetness of the beginning and all the mighty in-betweens. Or they get too scared to start in the 1st place. Now that can be quite a waste.
In these kinda things, I believe you have to take risks. Calculated risks of course. But you take it, and try as hard as you can to
not look back. It won't be easy, and of course you'll still be scared, but hey.. a man without fear is a foolish man.
Anw, when it comes to marriages and
all those serious things.. Islam gives us more assurance with the fact that we can solat istikharah.. You do that after you consider all your options carefully, seek advices from those you trust,
then you leave it to Him to guide you to the right choice. So rmbr to solat istikharah people before you all decide!
OK, I should probably try to work on my weaknesses, the ones that I know of.
In the meantime, I'd need a guy who's good with kids, who'd hold me in times of crises and demonstrate to me the art of consoling/comforting, who'd put me in my place. And of course, one who'd lead me to God's pleasure ( haha.. I have to add that to remind myself).
So I STILL want to get married, and I want to find this keeper-someone. :)
HA!! Sorry to have been going on and on abt marriage.. My bro's getting married la (enganged, actually).. It's the hot topic in my home right now can't escape.. :p
Anywaaaaayyyy.....
Another interesting bit off Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men is how they likened choosing a partner to choosing a sushi from the conveyor belt...
You see 1 sushi which looks really quite good, you're about to pick it up, but
you pause and wonder, what if a better sushi comes along? So you leave it and
wait for the next one to come along. And the next, and the next. But you find
yourself thinking about that 1st sushi and you decide, hey! I want that 1st one.
So now you look and wait for that 1st sushi to come round again. And it did. And
you pick it up, all happy, until you find yourself asking, "How come you're still here?" "Why don't anyone else want you?" "Are you expired?" Then you consider waiting round for another sushi.
Ish. But you
do think like that sometimes, don't you.. Haha.. ;)
Btw. Pink Panther was funny laaaaaaaa.... Hahaa.. Better than what I expected like twenty times over. It was a nice end to my hectic soooper tiring kayak-climbing-kayak 2 days. Sorry fav gay fren for my selengeh moments. STOP UNGKIT-ING, OH KAYYYY.... Sheesh. These are the things that make me adorable. *shows adorable face* Ha! *grin grin*
"Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you. "
~ Alex Hitch Hithcens in Hitch
iFLEW @ 1:29:00 pm
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Turn up the sun
Hello!
It's really mind-numbing adding commas at the the end of close to
1000 email addresses ah.. Maly would know what I'm talking about.
Gawd! If only there's a way I can get away from the work..
Anw, in the libr now freezing my ass off because my jacket is with Kamie because her jacket is with Hafie. But it's alright, they're in LT 11 now having the maiden test for the year 2006, Nation-Building. They mugged really hard for it lar I'm telling yall.. Everyday see them in the libr reading the same stuffs different titles only (readings).
All the best!!! Of course Kamie is gonna do especially well, considering some of my luck stuck to my jacket's probably gonna get rubbed off onto her.. Heheh.. I'm also having Stats test this fri morn at friggin 8 la! And to think the night before I'll be out rendezvousing with dear Shad at an 8pm show at the spanking new NLB's Drama Centre heheh... Can't wait for the drama "Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men", yes Shad, our fav topic indeed. Hope there
are 300 men, really. Hot ones. Then can 'wash eyes' (cuci mata lar!).. Yea.. In need of some nice new scenery after days of looking at a certain green face with webbed hands which makes loud unruly belching 'ribbit!' noises. ;p
Abt to my stats test, still got 2.5 chps to cover. Hais...
Yesterday in conjunction with Vday (which Muslims aren't supposed to celebrate anw. oops.) I smsed several of the nj classmates. Got a range of varied replies man, I mean, from those who bothered, in the 1st place. 1 complained of having debate all the way til 11.30, 1 was so desperately lonely he asked me for referrals (I told him my friends are the non-sacrificial sort), 1 said "what's so happy about it?" and claimed he can't rmbr the last time he was really happy ( :( ), another reminised about our brownies-baking days and whined of the endless mugging, and etc etc.. Haa.. Looks like life hasn't been too friendly to us eh.. Well, heads up.. Bright days coming soon.. I'm missing the 03s21 peeps ler.. Must be that tag from Stephen.
Oh. A pic from an outing last year....
That's eemin, jia en, aqilah, moi and preethi. After swensens at PS. Yum.
Ok la.. Should get back to work b4 the nation building pple get back. See yall!
iFLEW @ 6:24:00 pm
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Fake Plastic Trees
(Radiohead)
Her Green plastic watering can
For her fake chinese rubber plant
In fake plastic earth.
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans.
to get rid of itself.
And It Wears Her Out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out.
She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns.
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins.
And It Wears Him Out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him out.
She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My Fake Plastic Love.
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run
And It Wears Me Out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out.
And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted,
All the time, all the time, ohhh... ohh...
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After the past few upbeat drummy songs, here's a more melancholic one.
From Radiohead's The Bends. (If this acoustic version scares you, get the album one. from me. haha..)
iFLEW @ 7:35:00 pm
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Happy.. Sha la la.. It's so nice to be Happy..
Hello hello..
It's not fair that you guys complain I don't update my blog when you guys DON'T, EITHER. Ish. Everytime I go online I'm greeted by the same words.. BO-RINGGGGGGG.... At least I got excuse ohkay..
I'm now in northpoint macs wasting my time because I dint get the emails I was supposed to receive then in the end I was told I need not do the IAP poster after all.. Ha! But there's still the CS3 Booth poster to be done.. So... My job is far from done.
Anw, Monday was a blast lar.. It started out pretty mendak because I spent 21 bucks on taxi fare. So late then still got jam YET I was still nice enough to send my bro 1st. Hee.. Adik mithali lar katakan..
Isk crashed NUS and accompanied me for English lec and we talked and talked but I was good enough to catch what the lecturer was going on abt (we paused when she was going thru the exercises, we're obedient like that). Ha.. The funny thing was I was SO self-conscious la walking around school with him.. That to every single person we met I would like make sure I intro "this is Isk, my COUSIN." Haha.. Comic la.. So.. NUS pple.. Don't get the wrong idea eh.. Hahah!
The dinner was crappy... GREAT crappy. 1st, Shad and Hafie was SO LATE la... I was DYING in hunger.. But I understand Shad went to get the cake so I'm touched. :) Me and maly also had a nice talk, haa haven't spent quality time with her for so long!
They gave me 7 presents, to represent:
- the 7 of us in eminence
- the 7th year of friendship (I must admit I dint realise this earlier)
- a certain no. 7 (u know I know)
- hafie's fav no (I agree fie, NO LINK! but since you're my lover and all..........)
- 7-TEEN days left to THE concert. ;P
The wonderful scrapbook painstakingly made. Not for the pregnant ("takut terkenan").
Spoil MYself kit from Maly, I tried the pink eye thingy already.. Shiok... :)
X & Y from Hafie. For an anti-Coldplay, she's certainly feeding my lust for them. She got me a Coldplay calendar too! I bet she loves them secretly....heheh..
The watch, which I so need. Waiting for it to start ticking..
Ticket to Confessions of 300 Unmarried Men!! Courtesy of the Twin!!! Yeay!!! Can't wait for the date lar...
The melting nutella cake.. Hmm.. Yummy.. Tho after cutting it looked pretty gross.. :g
4/7 of Eminence.. With Maly finishing off Hafie's mee goreng. Ish. Gelojoh! (kidding!)
I was super super touched. Thanks babes.
To tell yall the truth, I did anticipate the arrival of the other budaks-budaks. Becaaaause.. (in chronological order)
- Fadz told me dinner at New York Pizza macam takder orang nak pergi ajer..
- Mukmin said "see you later"
- I asked Md Noor where's my present and he said "relek ah.."
- I asked Zahzah if she's going for the dinner on tues and she asked "Hari ni kan?"
So yea.. I was actually surprised that the 3 eminence pple started giving me the presents cos I was expecting the bebudaks to come celebrate sekali. It was at this point that I thought, maybe I got it wrong, they aren't coming. Haha! Of course I was happy when kamie nadiah muk md noor wan and fazli showed up after all..
Muk, Fazli, Md Noor and Wan.
Me and the best madu and SS partner, Nadiah
Me and the other Twin.
mr Kental demonstrating his kental-ness.
Posing outside Fongseng with mr Sungguh (tak) Hot.
The lovely bracelet and card these pple got me. I love bracelets you know.. Haha..
Super fab jacket and CD too.. Full of funny UNTRUE shits la.. *grins*
I was surprised that Fazli jonet was there tho! Ha.. That was qt nice of him. And nadiah too! But disappointed that my gd fren Fadz wasn't and neither was fellow northern knight Nazri.. :( As long as you guys DID think of me (u BETTER) it's ok..... Dint expect Shan to be there so I guess if a certain somebody hadn't mentioned his name I really WOULD have been surprised. Katak, haha.. well... Haha.. He wouldn't wanna miss out on the excitement in any way, so yea, it was a given. *grins*
On a different note, isn't it amazing how we've all only just met, (well, within such short months is a "just" to me) yet I think all of us feel like we've known each other since forever.. It's the way that we talk, we joke, we trust, and the way we try to move forward for the better (4.0 and BEYONDDD), always for the better, together.. I'm very grateful to have met yall and Insya Allah, our friendships are blessed by Him.
And, well, now that I'm a lil older ("Welcome to Club 20's," Wan says), I guess it's high time for me to seriously make efforts to improve myself for the better. I received lotsa Doa's in pple's wishes I get, reminding me to 'pertingkatkan keimanan dan ketaqwaan' and to remember Him, since He always remembers me. It's not qt so easy, I must say.. I've always found it difficult to choose what I should do over what I want to do. But I guess that's a Jihad in itself isn't it? A struggle in its own right. MY struggle.
May Allah guide me through this, Insya Allah.
To more great days with you all.. and you.
iFLEW @ 6:04:00 pm
