Sunday, July 02, 2006
SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS OF YOUR HEAD
I read md noor's post and well, he had just put in fine fine words the thoughts I have had in my head for a while now..
Sometimes we might get angry at somebody because of sthg he's done, and get even angrier when he does nothing to er.. for lack of a better word, make up or apologise.. Maybe we just don't realise that that person may not know in the 1st place what he's done or the true situation. Imagine, you don't know anything, suddenly jer you find yourself in some hot soup. Naturally, if someone's suddenly angry or upset with you and you don't know the real reason why, you would get upset too, even irritated.
The best way is to tell them lar, what they did. If you tell them on the spot there might even be enough time for them to salvage the situation. If you're too angry, ok, tell them later.
Ok this is sthg I learnt from social work (my fav module, the one I got a friggin B- for).. Lemme share with yall, insyaAllah, we may all benefit from this..
1. You describe to them what they did (DESCRIBE, not give judgements
ehh...), and when.. Don't say, "you ALWAYS never do this, you ALWAYS like this like this.." How you know "always"? You're God ah? Instead say, "That day, when you bla bla.." It's much clearer.. :)
2. Then you tell them what you felt about it.. "I felt it wasn't nice of you bla bla.."
3. Then pause and prompt/ask them for their side of the story.. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN... Golden rule no. 1, that one.. Yup..
4. Try to work sthg out together.. Negotiate.. InsyaAllah, you'll come to a win-win situation, or at least, one where both parties are no longer fuming... If the thing is of the past, do share what you feel they could do THE NEXT TIME. We all need some guidance once in a while.. :)
5. Forgive.
6. Do all these and if you find you're able to do them kindly despite you
being angry and everything, then my God, you're truly one of the ENLIGHTENED ones.. :D
Ok hahaa.. I am one of
those people who sometimes ('sometimes' ajer ehhh... haha..) do things all wrong, yet not realise them. So pray, tell me and not hold it against me k? Speak frankly, of course, and if you're nice while you're at it, it's a bonus. :)
I am, of all things, a willing learner. Strike me and I will strike back. Hold me and I will soften. Teach me and I will learn, insya Allah. Please do forgive me and pray for me too..
Keep in mind please that nobody
wants to elicit anger from another person.. (except when he's really up to some mischiefs.. In that case, go ahead, you can
lasiiinggg that person..) Nobody intentionally makes mistakes.. So don't treat that person like he's some bugger lar... Have some heart :) :)
(hahaa.. If only my
dad reads this.. )
Another thing tt's been constantly in my mind was sthg that Maly pulak wrote awhile ago which echoed the reason tabloids gave to sienna miller's rocky r/s with jude law:
For someone who's so HAWT and HANDSOME, jude law seemed to be getting praises and gushes from women all over,
except his gf. She reportedly was always putting him down instead. Hahaa.. IF this report is accurate, my take is that, I'm SURE she KNOWS and
FEELS that jude law is ALMOST PERFECT,
maybe it's just that HE doesn't know she feels that way... ;)
Don't we just
love to hear pple, esp those who mean alot to us, to say nice things to us..?
We love and we LOOK FWD to that..
It makes us feel pleased, appreciated, and I think very much, reassured of our position.
I do think the reason why some r/s turn sour through time is tt pple take their partner, or rather, the r/s itself, for granted. They assume that their partner knows how much he/she means to them, so they don't see the need to explicitly express to them. Well well.. Every1 needs some reassurance once in a while.. You know.. to be told, then reminded, and then reminded again..
I once said to Shad, I think this is the very reason I'm happy now. :)
Really people, some nice words will go a loooong, LOOOOOONGGGGGG way...Alrighty! Gotta help my dad with the cooking now heheh... After that, I really have to start practising what I ought to be practising for my, and hmm about 30 other pple's, sake. You'll know what I'm talking abt soon enough... *grins*
Adios Salamos! :) :)
iFLEW @ 11:39:00 am
to the now
